Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes
LA’s #1 avant-garde personal development program. I'm Emerson Dameron. I love you, personally. Levity saves lives.
The home of Ask a Sadist, Bite-Sized Erotic Thrillers, and the First Church of the Satanic Buddha. Levity saves lives.
Regularly scheduled episodes premiere on the first Wednesday of the month on KCHUNG Los Angeles.
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes
This Is How We Do It in Paradise City
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is LA's #1 avant-garde personal development program.
The show is a production of KCHUNG. The music is by Chris Rogers and Visions of the Universe. Your producer, director, writer, and witty and wounded romantic lead is Emerson Dameron.
The bulk of this episode was recorded live at Permanent Records Roadhouse as part of the first-of-its-kind KCHUNG Live Talk Show Experiment.
KCHUNG needs your support. Give what you can, and be honest. Donate now.
Thanks to Julie Doyle for doing most of the work in organizing the show; Kern Haug for hosting and producing; Curt Glendenin for capturing this recording, thereby saving this performance from being wiped off the ontological chalkboard by a snafu with the soundboard recording; our anonymous guest monologist; and everyone at Permanent Records and KCHUNG - if I already mentioned you, thanks again!
If you have questions for "Ask a Sadist," see if you can solve your own problems before bothering someone else. If you insist, be prepared to ask very, very nicely.
If you've waited for "Los Angeles (Part Two)," this is probably the best you'll get.
When you get what you want, be prepared to freak out, but don't be afraid to shine. Transmute your mojo and channel your mental power like a ray of Southern California sunshine through a magnifying glass on the second full weekend of July.
Levity saves lives.
Got something to say to me? Slide into the DMs.
Emerson Dameron's Sophistication Nation - April 4th - All major music-delivery platforms
Coming Soon! Sophistication Nation: Brief Interviews with Women I Pretend to Understand: https://emersondameron.hearnow.com/sophistication-nation
If you're lonely, lost or discombobulated, take a moment to just hang out, breathe in and out and naturally express the powerful polarity inherent in all things. Maybe you're nervous. Maybe you tell yourself I don't know what I want, but I know I don't deserve it. Hear that inner bully who tells you to go to hell, and go there. We're going to have a great time. Dinner starts at 8. Dionysian Bacchanal to follow For Buddha. We learn to release our attachments From Satan. We get a flamethrower for our carnal passions. The bad news is you're wrong about everything. The good news is you're free. So let your life force give you strength and engorge your sex organs. Know what you want and go get it. Become the sexy Buddha beastmaster you already are. And become the sexy Buddha Beastmaster you already are.
Speaker 1:Hi, I'm Emerson Dameron and I'm a sadist. I used to think it would be better if I felt bad about it, but that wasn't much fun. Now I've made peace with my sick mind because I'm a sadist with a heart of gold. I still carry around a lot of frustration and I want to take it out on someone who loves it. I want to hurt you in the ways that most help you. I tend to be very hard on myself. It's good practice for what I want to do to you. Consent is, of course, crucial, but also insufficient. I would never make you do anything. I want you to beg for it. That's because I'm a sadist with a soul of a poet, the mind of a wizard and a heart of a rugged gold, and it means the world to me. When you let me be mean to you, we are slathering on the sunscreen and we're ready to see you shine.
Speaker 1:When you're scared to feel too good, you make yourself feel bad for a sense of security. When you feel bad and bored. In this way, there's no risk. This is what you're used to, and it's easy to make excuses for yourself and you've hurt someone else. After all, you're so small. What harm could you do? As a lifestyle, it's ignorant and curious and exhausting. You deserve better and we deserve better from you. So take a big gamble on your glorious full potential In the land of the showering sunshine. You won't be in the risk zone forever. Pretty, you'll own the casino. Understand the stories you tell yourself about yourself. Chart your current location and take a vacation on the opposite extreme. When things go well, be prepared to freak out If it doesn't work out, then get what you want again and hang tough Until you've arrived in the land of the showering sunshine. To experience true freedom and peace with the universe is a radical act. This is how we do it in Paradise City.
Speaker 1:Hey you, I'm Emerson Dameron and this is LA's number one avant-garde personal development program, which, needless to say, is Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, a production of K-Chung Los Angeles. K-chung Radio dot O-R-G 1630 AM. Medicated dash minutes dot com. And oh my goodness, we have a very special treat on this edition of the program, the bulk of which was recorded live at the Permanent Records Roadhouse over in Highland Park on the east side of Los Angeles, as part of the first-of-its-kind K-Chung live talk show experiment, which included me, otto Naughty Anonymous answering your questions and Long Rocks on the Beach interviewing the journeyman musician David Pahoe, and it was a blast. My recommendation to you would be to go ahead and cancel all of your plans, anything on your social calendar indefinitely, to make absolutely sure that you do not miss this when it happens again, be there.
Speaker 1:Thanks to Julie Doyle for doing most of the work in organizing this thing. Thanks to Kern Hogg for hosting and producing, thanks to Kurt and everyone else at Permanent for holding space, as we say, in the energy circles in which I sip my cacao and practice various healing modalities. And thanks, perhaps most of all, to Kurt from Inspirato Projecto who captured the live audio that you're going to hear. We were going to have a soundboard recording and despite our best intentions, that did not work out. But Kurt came through with this official bootleg recording and, if you would like to prevent these sorts of mishaps, from mishapp MoCA in the Arts District downtown, we got DJs on weekdays during the day when the sun is up, and very special programming on weekends. Cool stuff. We have audio plays and community panel discussions tackling the important issues. If you happen to be in that area, check it out. And we've got a lot of other good stuff on the burner and we do need support for all of those endeavors. So if you want to help us out and this show also is a fundraiser, so you're getting to hear it, presumably for free or close to it. So the best way to say thank you is to go to kchungradiocom and give what you can and be honest. Kchung is a 501c3 charitable organization. Donations to K-Chung Radio are tax-deductible to the full extent of the applicable law.
Speaker 1:Let's get into this. Take me down to the Paradise City, where the romantics are wounded, the cynics are witty and levity saves lives. My name is Emerson Dameron. The name of this program is Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes Medicated-Minutescom. As I mentioned, it's a production of K-Chung Los Angeles, k-chung Radioorg or 1630 AM in certain parts of Chinatown, downtown and occasionally a sliver of Echo Park, if the weather is bad, in just the perfect way. The music is by Chris Rogers and Visions of the Universe, and everything else is by me.
Speaker 1:I'm Emerson Dameron, cynic, romantic. You're a witty and wounded leading man fueled by technicolor dreams and playful banter, hungry love, thirsty for power. And I don't know you. But I know the most salient thing about you, and that is that you are afraid to shine. You live in mortal fear of manifesting your full potential and that's why you keep yourself small. And when you reach the limits of your tolerance for feeling good, feeling your oats, feeling your own power, you make yourself feel bad out of a craving for familiarity and security. Because in some sense it's easier to feel bad in a familiar way Notice the word family in there.
Speaker 1:It's easier to feel bad in the ways in which you've grown accustomed than it is to feel good and come into your own power, because so many things could happen if you really started to shine. You could give someone a mild headache with the brightness. People might have to lather on some sunscreen in order to handle it, and you might alienate people that see life as a zero-sum competition and think that your gain is their loss. They might try to hurt you. That is the risk you run when you understand your story and begin to rewrite it and call yourself out on the lies that you tell yourself and ask yourself what else could I be wrong about? You could release the monster that you've been harboring. That is one of the reasons that you're so afraid, and I know this quite well.
Speaker 1:When things get good, you can expect to freak the hell out. When you're about to get what you want, if you're anything like me, that's when the panic kicks in, and I have screwed that up for myself. I've been so close to getting what I wanted on multiple occasions and I just had to learn the lesson that, yes, things are going to get scary. You're in the zone of risk when things are really going your way, and it's just so much easier. It can seem at those times to feel bad because it's relatively risk-free, there is no discomfort that you're not already accustomed to feeling, and when you small, it's easy to excuse yourself when you treat people poorly because, after all, you're so weak. What real, significant damage could such an ineffectual non-entity as yourself really be guilty of perpetrating? When you move into your power, you take on some responsibility. You release the monster and you don't know exactly what you're going to get. It's been locked in the basement for a long time. It might be frustrated and angry, and some people's monsters are quite dangerous and ugly and scary. I would wager that your monster is more a silly monster and I, when you let it out to do its, it's probably just going to add to the entertainment value that we'll all get from watching you shine, which is what you owe yourself and the rest of us Is to live at your full potential and up.
Speaker 1:Next it is time for a uh, a segment that we call ask a sadist, which is a round of q a with me, your host emerson dameron, a sadist with a heart of rugged gold. I want to hurt you in the ways that help you most, only by the most exquisitely enthusiastic consent. That's right. You have to beg for it, but I will field your burning, itching, lacerating questions here on. Ask a Sadist on Emerson Dameron's Medicaid in Minutes.
Speaker 1:Dear Sadist, what does success mean to you? Success to me is not a state of being, it's not a goal, it's not somewhere you are, it's not somewhere you have to get to. Success is a series of actions and choices culminating in a deliberate decision to concentrate the rays of my cruelty and my carnal passions through a magnifying glass. Success is a process of elimination. It's the rejection of insipid moralism and the decision to follow your depraved and decadent passions wherever they may lead, to be heedless of all that contradicts pleasure's divine laws that are inscribed in your DNA. You know their songs by heart. It's just a process of forgetting all of the distractions from the sound and rhythm and melody of that beautiful music.
Speaker 1:Dear sadist, if you're so smart, why aren't you happy? I don't think we know each other. Anonymous interlocutor, you certainly don't know me. It's fair to say that I might be operating at a level of sophistication that is unfamiliar to you and that you do not fully understand. In my experience, the smarter I get, the more I hone my senses and incorporate integrate wisdom that I've gathered about the world, the more excited and libertine my accursed mind becomes. And if you want what I have, if you're ready to cross that Rubicon, then explore and enlarge the sphere of your taste and whimsy. And if you insist on suffering which a lot of you obviously do you will not admit it openly.
Speaker 1:And yet I observe you behave in ways that are pretty much guaranteed to make you suffer, in ways that are pretty much guaranteed to make you suffer If you insist on suffering and taking actions that you know are going to mire your ass in misery and walking right into that meat grinder day after day. All I ask is that you suffer like you mean it, suffer on purpose, suffer with intent in the ways that bring you closer to accomplishing whatever liberation it is that you seek from the practice of suffering. Dear sadist, would you rather see the future or change the past? If your past is a place of unhappy memories which does apply to mine Let those bad feelings fuel your frustration and drive you forward into a decadent and liberated future. The future is open. Your duty is to defile it, and if you don't know your place or where you fit in or belong, I will find it for you and.
Speaker 1:I will put you there. This has been Ask a Sadist on Emerson Dameron's Medicaid, reminding you that to pursue and to have true freedom, peace with the universe and boundless prosperity is a radical act, and that's how we do it here in Paradise City. As a creative person, as a creator of your own reality, I think it's your job right now, most prominently, to bring back danger, bring back a little bit of risk, because it's later in the day than we care to admit to ourselves and the stakes are higher than we typically recognize. We are in danger of getting what we want and we have to prepare for the freakout and we have to figure out how to be kind to ourselves in a way that allows us to make the transition into actualizing our full potential, because it does take a little bit of understanding.
Speaker 1:And we're so used to torturing ourselves that it's shocking the amount of energy that opens up when you just stop doing that and join us here in Paradise City, the place beyond your conscious competence, which is where even the best and the brightest tend to get stuck. There's another place, and that's Paradise City, where the thing that you love to do the most, the thing that you're best at, intersects with the needs of your people. The needs of your people, not even the world Screw the world Just your people that you find in Paradise City. And in order to get there, just please remember you are loving, you are loved, you are going to be okay, your contributions are valued, your work and your life will be their own reward. In Paradise City, there is no sales or income tax. Every day there's a ticker tape parade, with nightly entertainment provided by a VW van full of clowns and recovering sex addicts.
Speaker 1:In Paradise City, death is nothing to fear. It's simply the ultimate form of physical comedy. Welcome to Paradise City. Make yourself at home. There's a better way to a better place. If you raise the bar on what you allow yourself to achieve, feel the fear of your full potential and let that fuel your ass to move forward. Your impediments aren't what you think they are. Your higher power is you. Power is you. Your original sin, such as it is, is letting your parents and other bullies and naysayers and the limitations of the culture convince you otherwise. So if you're lonely and lost, chart your location, take a vacation. On the opposite extreme, get curious and join us in Paradise City.
Speaker 1:First invocation Sing to me, los Angeles, in your fractal impermanence, your sprawling nightmares and all your little absurdities. Sing to me of fires, riots, earthquakes and floods that wash away the pain and shards of broken dreams. Sing to me of coke sweats, coagulant orgies and long nights in the hills. Sing to me of long lines at the DMV, of puff pastries and restaurants Built to resemble the foods that are served there. Seen to me of traffic jams and cool creative types who never cross the 405 for any reason. Seen to me of recovery groups, cacao drinks and cool cults to join enjoying.
Speaker 1:This is the A story Letting her know of his return from the beach. He'd been out there all day pursuing his extramarital affair, the most recent one while she'd been at home, screwing two of his clients, or two guys that worked for one of the companies with one another, because they always gave each other plenty of time to hide the evidence, as if they didn't want to accidentally barge in on one another and break the game, like they knew they'd lost the attraction years ago but wanted to keep the charade going for tax purposes and really saw no point in hurting or humiliating one another that badly. This is the B story. There are already three non-sectarian churches involved, along with a half-dozen suburban fire departments. Two long-term frenemies organizing the mother-of-all-bake sales.
Speaker 1:A kid selling muffins at a significant markup. A life coach celebrating a client's remarkable triumph of the will. Three bored teenagers throwing eggs at each other because that's something they can do that doesn't violate anyone's probation. A drunken Marxist swaying in the winds of change. An internet service provider and a Volkswagen van full of clowns and recovering sex addicts, pamphleteers from the First Church of the Satanic Buddha and a Volkswagen van full of clowns and recovering sex addicts, pamphleteers from the First Church of the Satanic Buddha and the people of the Screaming Release.
Speaker 2:This is the sea story.
Speaker 1:He emerged onto the terrace, the voices ceased. He took a beat, took a breath involuntarily, giggled and smirked at a dirty joke he'd heard earlier in the day, then regained his composure, got it together, cleared his throat my friend, he said, impressed with his own resonance and reverb. Like you, I've waited for this moment. I've been hopeful, yes, but not without some fear and trepidation. I knew this would be one of those before and after experiences, one of those lines of demarcation where nothing is quite the same on the other side, except, of course, for the things that are D story. I mean, they really love it More than I would have dared hope. Like I always assumed that when success came to me as I always assumed that it would it would be for doing something that I was proud of. I never thought that fame and fortune would find me through a dashed-off notion. I immediately regretted and only executed on due to exhaustion and a lack of other ideas. And yet here we are. All the kids are going crazy for the worst thing I ever followed through on and you don't hear me complaining I'll take the money in a heartbeat. Not selling out is an antiquated luxury at this point, and now I never have to worry about money again. I can just sit in one corner of my mansion and make art all day and most of my problems are gone. I will have new ones. They will be relatively minor. This will open up massive opportunities for me, as well as invites to Caligula and orgies in the hills. I'll share the wealth. It's just interesting how things work out.
Speaker 1:E story Xena decides she wants to go home and she can come and go as she likes. That's always been part of the deal. She knows Amber isn't happy to see her go and she lashes out at Amber a little bit to offset some of the guilt that she feels she should not be feeling. But Xena doesn't do regrets or apologies. She takes care of herself in the moment. Anything else she can deal with later. Free of the burden of being there physically, she finds herself able to chill out on the long ride home more than she's been able to chill out in a hot minute. It was time to go sometime ago.
Speaker 1:F story I can say now what I dared not say then. I was a prick. I was hurt and humiliated. In the aftermath of that I still think that you handled it poorly, but I wanted more from you than I was willing to admit or acknowledge. I was selfish, possessive and passive-aggressive. I wasn't taking care of myself or properly dressing my own wounds in advance of our rendezvous. I wasn't taking care of myself or properly dressing my own wounds in advance of our rendezvous. I wasn't ready to get what I wanted before and I wanted to make up for blowing it. I wanted to believe that was possible. I couldn't move on and make space for the pain you're in or anything else that could come after this. And I'm sorry, speak to me. Los Angeles, city of five side hustles where you can make up a job and then have it where you can be whatever you want find whatever tribe you want to be in and make lifelong friends.
Speaker 1:You see maybe twice a year, you that dances in strip mall parking lots, rants on Venice Beach and never gives up on your big dream, even if that means breaking it down into dozens of little dreams. The city that never stops loving you and never remembers your name. City of hungry ghosts, flaming vans and showering sunshine. One of the things I want to do before I leave Los Angeles which I keep threatening in my mind to do is just take a full day and do nothing but ride Angel's Flight up and down back and forth and just do that all day and think about life. So I will do that before I leave.
Speaker 1:Downtown was the first neighborhood that I lived in. The second time I moved to Los Angeles I wasn't expecting the rents to be so high. I went to Chicago to ride out the recession and when I came back I was expecting there to be a little bit of inflation. But I didn't expect it to be quite so hard to put down first, last and deposit. So I ended up spending maybe three months in an establishment in the arts district called Podshare, which is not a youth hostel and it's not a cult. They're very adamant about both of those things. What it is is it's kind of like a submarine cabin. It's a bunch of bunk beds and you rent out the bunk bed by the night at a reasonable price. And it's also a panopticon, because anywhere in Podshare you're going to be privy to everything else that goes on in Podshare. And that's by design, because their motto is end-world loneliness. And the way that they do this is by the radical elimination of privacy. There is no privacy inside of Podshare except for the bathrooms and that's extremely iffy.
Speaker 1:And I got pretty brutally depressed after I'd been in Podshare for a number of weeks. Things were just not going my way on a number of levels. And I remember speaking with the founder of Podshare, who's a wonderful person, lover to death. We have some philosophical differences and I remember the topic of depression came up because that's one of my areas of expertise, and I remember she said do you think that pod share could be a cure for depression? Because how can you be depressed when you're constantly surrounded by friends? And the obvious answer to that is no.
Speaker 1:Podshare is not a cure for depression. There will not be any clinical trials because it will not work better than a placebo, possibly worse, but Podshare is an inconvenient place to kill yourself Because, as much as I'd lost interest in living, I am polite to the bitter end and there's no way you can kill yourself in Podshare without traumatizing a bunch of people. So I managed to survive, if only because of that, long enough to eventually move to Hollywood during COVID, where I developed a morbid fascination with the Hollywood Walk of Fame because that was my walk, as both my marriage and the origin of civil society were collapsing at once. I was walking around the Walk of Fame, which is a very outward-facing place, so it was just extremely eerie and sleazy, and what I learned is that when guests come from out of town, don't take them to the Hollywood Walk of Fame unless they specifically ask you to, because its charm is lost on a lot of people.
Speaker 2:So a friend of mine was going on a trip of a lifetime and it was somewhere I had never been and I never wanted to go. So I asked my friend to take some personal items of mine and she went over there and I just saw her a couple days ago and she brought back a bunch of stuff and, when she was done, explaining to me all the different items that she got from the Holy Land not Jerusalem, not India, so it leaves you a little bit open for interpretation I asked her well, where's my jewelry Silence? Where's my jewelry Silence? She says you were. That's a nice. I thought to myself. Oh shit, she left my items abroad.
Speaker 2:Now, mind you, some of the things can be replaced. One of the things came from London and another piece came from a first love that passed away in 2011. She looks at me and says I left it. I think I'm gonna leave it. Literally, it was like a punch in the throat and I was sitting there absorbing the fact that there were these items that you can't replace and I didn't want her to feel like absolute shit, so I started processing it really quickly, okay, okay. Now, the timing of this is pretty funny because I've been trying to teach my daughter the topic of easyuzukan. It was kind of an alchemical process in the fact that these items were now immersed in water and sand where they are. I had no idea this was going to happen and it actually, funny enough, caused a lot of progression in my life. I shipped for the better, unbeknownst to me and unbeknownst to the fact that these items are now somewhere over around.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Southern California is a land of showering sunshine and a radical relationship with impermanence. This has been Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, a production of K-Chung, los Angeles kchungradioorg. The dedicated site for the show is medicated-minutescom. Music is by Visions of the Universe and Chris Rogers. Everything else is by me. I'm Emerson Dameron, the writer, producer, director of the Talent. The writer, producer, director, the talent, the witty, cynic and wounded romantic hero of Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes. We have the talk show. Experiment will continue apace in the following segments. We have Auto Naughty Anonymous coming up, as well as Long Rocks on the Beach. Thank you to Julie and Kern and everybody at K-Chung for putting this together. Thanks for Permanent for having us, thanks for showing up.
Speaker 1:All I ask is that you're you be not afraid to shine and manifest your full potential, because you're always right and no one else matters. Levity saves lives. Thank you. It's a tough racket. There are billions of people in the world and most of them are needy and loud, but if you play your cards right, you can get attention. The easiest way is to screw up your life and make someone rescue you, then thrill to their frustration and anger, bask in their inevitable forgiveness and enjoy the freedom that comes from lowering everyone's expectations. You can also get attention by suffering, but you have to suffer a lot more than anyone else around you. Don't tell people what you want, but do get mad when they don't know. People love it when you listen to them, so listen, take their advice. Then this is the important part get enraged at them. When everything goes wrong for you, they'll have to fix it for you because they feel guilty, and you'll once again gorge on the attention. Have your own opinions bad ones about everything. No one respects people who are too agreeable and go along with the crowd, so make sure you never do Beat yourself, but don't kill yourself, but do talk about it. People have to take you seriously either way, and you can threaten suicide as many times as you want, it never gets old. Pit people against one another. You'll get attention from others if you force them to compete for yours and when they tear each other apart, that clears the field and gets everyone paying attention to what really matters.
Speaker 1:You have fun out there. Empower yourself, take control of your self-care, release your powerful inner healer. Restore your faith in the future. Have digressive and circuitous all-night conversations with geniuses who love you. Don't feel good about yourself. Feel great about yourself for an entire half hour. You deserve pure uncut cocaine.
Speaker 1:Learn to say no. Say no to bad jobs, no to one-way relationships. Don't pay taxes or parking fines or show up for boring social engagements if you don't wanna Refuse to get peed on, figuratively or otherwise. Never say never or no or yes. Learn how to say no to everything, no or yes. Learn how to say no to everything. Know when to walk away. Know when to run.
Speaker 1:If your city is dead, move to Atlanta. If you can't do that, move to Kathmandu. If you hate your job seriously for real, quit. There's so much important work to be done in the world right now. If your relationship has gone rotten, break up.
Speaker 1:It's hard to find good porn, but it's out there. You can't get back your time and if you waste a lot of it, you'll have a hell of a time getting back your dignity. If you think it's time to go, it probably is. Never forget. You can always just quit and if you change your mind, you can always find some other lousy situation. It's hard, it's scary. Do the damn thing Got rid of.
Speaker 1:I sit in a dark blue sedan. Sun came up. We waited with great patience for a man who had previously promised to arrive in great haste, or so it was said on the application he filled out in handwriting that was hard to read a scrawl composed in blue ink with doodles of mushrooms at the margins, as though he hadn't expected anyone else to actually read it. Martians are groovy, I'm told. They love the old hits that the rest of us have forgotten, plugged into the past as they are and largely uninterested in chasing trends, preferring style over fashion.
Speaker 1:You've been listening to Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes medicated-minutescom, a production of K-Chung kchungung Radio dot O-R-G 1630 AM. K-chung, los Angeles. I'm Emerson Dameron, I'm the host. Thanks to Kern, julie, permanent Records, kurt at Inspirato Projecto, chris Rogers and Visions of the Universe for doing the music. Everyone who came out to the first of its kind, kei Chung talk show, experiment. Live at Permanent Records.
Speaker 1:If it happens again, be there. Levity saves lives, thank you. Take a beat, breathe into the experience of being here and ask yourself what am I so afraid of? Maybe you're afraid of missing some essential life experience. You're afraid you already have, or that it doesn't matter because nothing does. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe you're just a regular nerves McGee. Or maybe you're afraid of your own glorious cataclysmic power, the riotous multitudes you contain. You are smart enough to know how nearly infinitely ignorant you are. But you're not too smart to be hot, and you may already be a satanic Buddhist. Nothing is good or bad in isolation, only in context. The Buddha and the Beastmaster are a good team. This, right here, is all you get. Life is for living up down across, diagonally, sideways, because nothing matters. You may already be a satanic Buddhist.
