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Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes
9 Laws of the Satanic Buddha
Explore the nine laws of the First Church of the Satanic Buddha. Experiment with interpreting the world from a Satanic Buddhist perspective. You may find yourself opening to new experiences as the laws work their magic in your life.
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is a production of KCHUNG, with support from the First Church of the Satanic Buddha.
Music by Chris Rogers. Written, performed, produced, and created by Emerson Dameron, who is solely responsible for its content.
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Speaker 2:You're listening to K-Chung Los Angeles 1630 am in the Chinatown area of Los Angeles, california, worldwide on the World Wide Web at kchungradioorg. It's time for Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes Dedicated site for the show is medicated-minutescom. My name's Emerson Dameron. I am the writer, producer, director, executive producer, the talent behind Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, who is solely responsible for its content. We mentioned something on the show that should not necessarily be construed as an endorsement. If you take any advice given on the show, that's on you. We do have several sponsors. Most of them don't know about each other, so there should be no guilt by association. Several sponsors Most of them don't know about each other, so there should be no guilt by association, and the views expressed on this show do not necessarily reflect the views of anyone, particularly not the people at K-Chung and maybe not even me. I'm rethinking a lot of this stuff as I go. The music in the background is by Chris Rogers, and one of our sponsor organizations which is going to come under the microscope today is the First Church of the Satanic Buddha, which is something we've been getting questions about. What is the deal with the First Church of the Satanic Buddha? Is it Buddhist, is it Satanic? Is it both. How is that possible? Well, today it's time to take a closer look at the teachings of the First Church of the Satanic Buddha. The church has nine laws, but don't get too hung up on the notion of like I have to obey the law, because that's the way things are. These are guidelines, but we refer to them as laws to convey the seriousness of what is being discussed. Because once these ideas get into your life, they will affect you in ways that are not always easy to predict or perceive. But you will not hear the nine laws of the first church of the Satanic Buddha and come away unchanged, that much I can guarantee you. So they are referred to as laws to convey the seriousness of the matters under discussion. But the First Church of the Satanic Buddha is a fun-loving organization. There's a lot of humor in Buddhism, particularly in Zen Buddhism. That's almost a distinct genre of humor associated with it. And of course the Beastmaster is a laugh a minute. That's key to the appeal of Satanism and all satanic and satanic-flavored organizations. So levity saves lives. That's the motto of Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, medicated Minutes, and that certainly does apply to the First Church of the Satanic Buddha. So let's do this. Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is sponsored in part by the First Church of the Satanic Buddha, which asks you to be aware of the nine laws of the Satanic Buddha, and we will take them one at a time.
Speaker 2:The first law starts with a familiar presumption that life is suffering. That's the first noble truth of Buddhism, and I think any discerning person would agree that suffering is abundant. It's varied. It comes in many guises, some of them we don't see right away the suffering that's going on. It can come in disguised as pleasure.
Speaker 2:In cases of addiction, the thing that seems to save us from suffering ends up inflicting a lot more suffering than we were experiencing before we discovered that thing that presented itself as a nostrum. And experiencing huge amounts of pleasure tends to bring equal and opposite amounts of suffering. We've been to the highest highs. We can then also experience the lowest lows, because we tend to perceive things by contrast. So any amount of pleasure brings an equal and opposite amount of suffering, and the only way out of that is to live a perfectly bland, harmless, mediocre life, which is its own kind of suffering. So life is suffering and Buddhism suggests that there is a way out of suffering. And it's pretty intense, but you practice the eightfold path and meditate a lot, which can be a pain in the ass. Meditation sessions can be long and boring and sometimes can feel thankless when they're in progress, and it's frustrating to meet our minds, the agents and catalysts of our suffering, and see how ridiculous we are when we're alone with our thoughts and observe them, to wonder who is this psychopath, this very boring psychopath that I happen to be locked into this life with. Who am I talking to? Who is talking to me? And I can say from experience that there is a solution to that. But it takes a while to get there and there's no easy way.
Speaker 2:Another thing about suffering is that sometimes it's sexy, and not just in cases of hardcore masochism dynamics, edging psychological torment to turn up the heat to get us to a full boil. There's pain in that and suffering, and for most people I think a little bit of that in some form is necessary to get off and as Satanists, the first Church of the Satanic Buddha fully supports that. As long as we're talking consenting adults, everybody's into it. Life is suffering, which can be sexy. First law of the Church of the Satanic Buddha Moving along. The second law concerns beliefs and belief systems.
Speaker 2:We all believe a lot of things, and a lot of them are quite absurd when exposed to any sort of scrutiny. We have things that we get reactive about because of some parallel in our personal life that would be obvious to anyone except for us. We have things that we maybe got from our parents or some hungover cop that did a presentation in our fourth grade class, or a tv show from years ago. It just got in there and stuck and we ended up with a stupid, asinine belief and we don't even know how it got there and we don't know how to get at it to shed light that will help us question it and maybe find out if it's useful and, if so, what we can do with it. Or maybe it's useful and, if so, what we can do with it. Or maybe it's not useful, in which case it would behoove us to think about how to extract that belief. And we have base assumptions that are kind of like the water in the aquarium that we're swimming around in all the time, the things that are so deep down that we not only don't question them, but we never think to question them, and a lot of that comes from just being enthralled to the chatter of our own minds, that internal drill sergeant that makes us suffer, makes us think it's for our own good. We're so alienated from our own shadow material that we can't even effectively get off on it. What a fate.
Speaker 2:At the First Church of the Satanic Buddha, the belief is that beliefs are generally stupid, that the more you have, the more you're constrained. If you have them, you should have them on purpose. Sometimes constraints are good, particularly in art and creativity. So having some beliefs, even superstitious beliefs, can be a boon in those endeavors. And we need beliefs to navigate the world. Even if they're stupid, they're useful and, many cases, necessary. The First Church of the Satanic Buddha believes that to the extent that one has beliefs, they should conform to the best of what we know from a scientific reason perspective. You definitely don't have to believe in God unless you have some kind of fetish, in which case go for it. There is no kink shaving in the first church of the Satanic Buddha, the first church of the Satanic Buddha, but it recommends limiting the number of beliefs that are running in the background on a regular basis and, as much as possible, knowing what they are, deliberately choosing them, which gives you a chance to actively refine them over time. Law number two of Satanic Buddhism Having beliefs is probably a waste of time, but sometimes you need them. So when you have them, they should conform to scientific reason and help you get what you want, to the extent that you're not hurting anyone else, and you don't have to believe in God unless you've got a really sexy God. Complex Law number three and this is when we get into the practices.
Speaker 2:In Buddhism, there is the Noble Eightfold Path. The Noble Eightfold Path consists of right understanding, right effort, right mindfulness and right concentration, and any of those two, much less all eight of them together, and you're talking about a powerful combination and a lifetime pursuit in a lifetime pursuit. Various sects of Satanism have their own laws and guidelines. The Satanic Temple has its own. Old-school Levian Satanists have their own. Some of those are a little bit more bloodthirsty, but at the First Church of the Satanic Buddha it's really broken into a threefold path of pursuit Right understanding, right thought and right humor, and we'll take them one at a time.
Speaker 2:Right understanding the church encourages looking at the world as much as possible from the height of your intelligence. If you're having a bad day, imagine who you are on your best day and choose to understand the world in that way as much as you can. So it means finding the signal in the noise and making sense of things, using the best tools and resources that you have available and you have some good ones your six sense gates, the supercomputer that is your nervous system, your intuition, various forms of magic that you practice, some without even realizing it. Use all of those and pursue right understanding as much as you can. Pursue right understanding as much as you can, and that will yield good results, particularly when practiced in conjunction with right thought, which is recognizing that you are what you give your attention to. And, generally speaking, that's one thing at a time, and in many cases it's the same thing over and over Hundreds, maybe thousands of times a day over the course of years.
Speaker 2:And the practice of right thought is thinking on purpose, taking a beat, getting aware of what it is that you're thinking about and then deciding is this really what I want to be thinking about? Is this useful right now? And if it's not, you have the option of bringing your attention over here for a bit. See how that goes. It's not easy because we are not our minds. That's a whole other thing that is addressed in another law. But if we were doing law, but If we were doing the thinking, we could just stop it. And when we try to do that, we realize that whatever it is that we identify as the thinker is not on the job in the way that we might hope. But right thought means right attention the way that we might hope. But right thought means right attention, and that is the practice. So when you get stuck on something you don't want to be stuck on, try sticking it somewhere else and see how it goes.
Speaker 2:The third piece is right humor, which is a little bit paradoxical. It's a little bit oxymoronic. A lot of the best humor is wrong, but humor is essential. It transcends right and wrong or good and evil. It can be used for many purposes, some torward, some untorward, some untoward. But always try to think about things in terms of, first of all, what can I learn from this? Second of all, what's funny about this? Because levity saves lives is not something we joke about. Well, it is something that we joke about, but it's also dead serious. So, number three practice right understanding, right thought and right humor. Practice right understanding, right thought and right humor.
Speaker 2:That's the third law of satanic Buddhism and we move on to number four, and this one's all about you, because you gotta celebrate yourself, glorify yourself, fall deeply, madly, texting at 3 am in love with yourself and let it happen, let it flow, give it up, give in Love yourself as hard as you possibly can. In Satanism, your birthday is the most sacred day on the calendar and you've got to give it up for yourself, because you are the sexy beast that you want to see in the world. You have to be. That's your job, that's your responsibility, and that can be immensely fulfilling if you're really celebrating yourself and also recognize that yourself is an illusion. It's a compelling one, but who you are in the eyes of others is going to be very different from who you are in your own eyes, as is evidenced by the extremely negative reactions that people sometimes have when they find themselves written into other people's stories, presented in ways that are strange and disconcerting to them, that force them to see themselves in ways that they would rather not or they're not in the habit of.
Speaker 2:But those are also only those, are the only selves that we are, because the self that we are to ourselves, who is that? When you're talking to yourself, who are you talking to? Who's listening? That person doesn't exist. There is no self, there is no you. That's an illusion. If you go looking for it, you will not find it, and you will find that there is no seeker to be seen either.
Speaker 2:When you try to point at whatever it is that's doing the looking, that also disappears and the self goes up in a puff of smoke. And you are free, you are awakened. Of course it's not that easy. Many contemplatives spin, some say multiple lifetimes trying to make this happen. But you can take it on faith that know you. There is no self. It's never been found. But love yourself anyway.
Speaker 2:Celebrate your birthday. Have little rituals that are only for you. Nobody else even knows about them. Keep some of that magic for yourself. Preserve a bit of your solitude. It's okay to have private space for private inquiry and contemplation. Those things are healthy. It's not that you only exist in the eyes of others. It's really that you don't exist at all and the only way to fully realize and live that is preserving some solitude. So don't be afraid to set boundaries, don't be afraid to have your own space, do not be afraid to celebrate yourself and love yourself like crazy, with the knowledge in mind that in some ways, we're really all one. Every one of us is a variation on an ineffable theme of life expressing itself which is powerful enough to blow away any of our trappings of identity, who we think we are, who we want to be relatively insignificant when we eventually die and merge into a larger consciousness, like a drop of rain hitting the surface of the ocean. So love yourself, recognize that there is no you and your self is an illusion, and make it your mission on earth to love yourself and love everyone else to death. The fourth law of the church of the satanic Buddha law of the church of the Satanic Buddha, number five is similar kind of a variation on a theme.
Speaker 2:We take a lot of things personally. We tend to experience things that happen as a reflection on who we are on some kind of essential level and this is a path to barking madness. People are not invested in who we think we are enough for their own actions toward us to be read as any kind of meaningful commentary on that. People are short with us or treat us poorly or are disrespectful and hurtful because of the hurt that's in their own lives. Their behavior is a reflection on them. A lot of times it's that shadow material or repressed emotions leaking in. It's that quest to always be happy and always be in pursuit of pleasure is so tiring that it makes the suffering that much harder to ignore and that creeps up and we do each other dirty. People can be awful to each other. I've experienced that I've been awful to other people. I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back and I hope that we can practice together not taking things too personally, because that is one of the major benefits, if not the major benefit of not having a self, is you really don't have to take things personally.
Speaker 2:It's easily reduced to absurdity if you do. That doesn't mean you should be too quick to forgive. If somebody mistreats you, it's probably not about you. That much is safe to assume. But under no circumstances should you expect yourself to put up with people continually violating your boundaries, continually violating your boundaries. If you let them, they'll keep doing it and it'll get harder and harder to push back. So don't take it personally. But you don't have to be a pacifist. It's okay to defend yourself and it's okay to establish and protect your boundaries using the language that the people who would intrude on them will understand, and sometimes that means you've got to get aggressive. You don't have to get mad, you can get angry. If anger is useful in this context, which maybe it is, maybe the passionate feelings that come from feeling wounded can be catalyzed to make big things happen. If you can do that, then make anger your friend, put it to work for you, and sometimes you have to retaliate. Sometimes it can be tempting to make an example out of somebody. It's always important to understand whether or not that's really going to help you if it's going to help you at all. Sometimes getting really wrapped around the idea of revenge can do a lot more harm to us than it does to the other person.
Speaker 2:There are big proponents of forgiving people who have hurt us. I have mixed feelings about forgiveness. I don't think it's always appropriate. I think there's some kinds of forgiveness that do more harm than good in the way that they're preached. But that's something to work with If it helps, if it helps to forgive people. But that's something to work with If it helps. If it helps to forgive people, then at least it gets you out of the situation of ruminating about some slight that you experienced and acting in ways that are going to hurt you more than anyone else. Having a sense of humor is good. Having a sense of humor is good If you are able to mock your enemies and enjoy doing that, or create works of art in tribute to that experience you've had of someone crossing your boundaries and the tradition of Dante's Inferno, which was really just a bunch of people that Dante didn't like getting tortured. If you can turn it into something like that, then that's a pretty cool form of revenge.
Speaker 2:But don't take things personally. If you can try to zoom out, go meta, say what can I learn from this? What's funny about this? Why is this happening? What is this person's perspective? Taking things personally is a trap and ultimately it's stupid because there is no you and the ability to not take things personally is one of the many luxuries of not having a fixed self. If someone mistreats you, don't get mad, just destroy that person. Rule number five of the nine laws of Satanic Buddhism. And we keep it moving into number six.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it can feel cathartic to complain, to just let it out when we're frustrated. That can also yield good works of art, angry essays, some of which go viral online, some of which go viral online, but ultimately it's worth asking is it worth it to complain? Some people practice the rule of don't complain, don't explain, and that can be interesting as a thought experiment. Complaining is the thing that does the most damage and it's worth noticing how much time you spend complaining. Just take a couple of weeks and observe how much you complain, how many of your interactions and relationships revolve around complaining, which might give you an idea of what it would be like if you didn't complain as much as you do. And see, just in that two-week period, how much you can reduce your complaining. And it really is interesting if you can try to get it down to zero. Almost it's not realistic, because the first thing you'll notice that when you start doing this, you complain a lot. You'll notice just how much of conversation, rumination, all of it, is devoted to this act of complaining, which will provide some opportunity to inquire about is this useful at all? And a lot of it isn't.
Speaker 2:It's okay to let it be known. If somebody's doing you dirty, you can speak up. If your boundaries are being crossed, you don't have to take crap from people, but don't complain if you can help it any more than just happens as a result of hanging out. And if you're hanging out with people who do a lot of complaining and you find yourself complaining a lot when you're hanging out with those people, maybe consider reshuffling your friend group a little bit. But especially don't complain when you can just quit. But especially don't complain when you can just quit.
Speaker 2:There are so many things in life that feel like obligations, that make us feel like we're stuck with them, like we have to do that there's nowhere else to go. This is how it is and we just have to take it, and a lot of times that's not the case. If you're in a bad relationship, you can break up. You may feel duty-bound to stay there, and a lot of times that feeling of guilt and obligation will breed contempt, which will sometimes present itself as all kinds of hurtful, even abusive, behaviors Cheating and lying and not investing in the relationship, cutting the other person down. All of that can be avoided if you just leave. So if you want to get out, you can get out, and that might be painful for the other party involved, but in the long run that's the best mitzvah that you can do for that person. If you know that it's over, just quit, don't complain, don't harbor resentments, just GTFO.
Speaker 2:This applies to jobs as well. One of the things that we've collectively noticed over the last few years of the COVID-19 pandemic is how much crap we were putting up with and how some of it was not necessary in the way that it seemed before. I know the subprime mortgage collapse and the worldwide economic wipeout in 2008-2009 scared a lot of people. I was broke for some of that time. I had a dream job that I lost and I spiraled out. I got into drinking and got morbidly depressed and ended up nearly dying as a result of how bad that felt to lose that sense of mooring and then wake up a couple of years later in the gig economy late capitalist scorched earth nightmare. The good news is we're reconsidering that now and workers have some power. I don't know how much of that's going to last through the 2022 midterms, but we will see, and right now is an excellent opportunity to rethink professional activities that seem like obligations. That seem like obligations.
Speaker 2:If you're in a job or a career that you hate or that isn't serving you anymore. You can quit or you can do the best job that you can and build a work ethic that is going to be anti-fragile, that is going to serve you even better. In situations where you feel like things are working against you rather than for, just do your best, but don't complain when you can just quit. If you choose to keep doing something, do it well, because how you do anything is how you do everything. The sixth law of the Church of Satanic Buddhism is don't complain when you can just quit. And by now perhaps you might be feeling a little bit down on yourself. Some of this, maybe, has given you pause to reconsider your life and your place in the world in ways that make you feel a little bit uncomfortable. That's normal. That's something to sit with. That can be very valuable when there's resistance usually means there's something valuable on the other side of that.
Speaker 2:But don't forget to practice compassion and start with yourself. And start with yourself. That is easier said than done. It is very easy to have compassion for yourself in theory. What the Satanic Buddha recommends is to really deepen that, to sit in meditation and invite in physical sensations, run your fingertips over your skin, feel how warm and soft and alive you are, that life that only lasts in its current form, really for just this minute, this moment, that one right there that you just missed. This moment, that one right there that you just missed. That's the one opportunity to be this person in this moment, and what that person needs is that crazy love that makes your birthday the most sacred day on the satanic calendar. So practice that compassion, first for yourself, and then it will naturally spread to others. The more you love yourself, the more love there will be, and you'll want to spread it around because that's hot. So practice compassion for others as well.
Speaker 2:See where is this person coming from? What's their angle? How would I feel in that position and understand? Everyone's got their own stuff going on and everyone really needs a lot more compassion than they're getting, because it's an infinite renewable resource once you tap into it. But we need to tap into it a lot more than we do, because this world needs a lot more compassion than it's getting.
Speaker 2:So don't be afraid to practice compassion for yourself. Don't be afraid to spread it around. You can start with the inner circle. The people that you know have your back, where there's been continuity and knowing the same people, even as you've changed in your own ways. There's still that shared history with inside jokes and references, and that's very grounding. We are different people from moment to moment. But we need a little bit of continuity, much in the way that we need beliefs, if we're going to get anything done. So give it up for those folks the long-term ride or die. People that have loved us for years and know all of the major criticism and have chosen to continue to love us regardless. Give those people some love and some compassion and then spread it out a little bit further, to people that you pass on the street, to the person who makes your coffee, to rideshare drivers, people you encounter. The more compassion you spread around, the more bubbles up. So when you've really got it going, let those people have a little bit of compassion too, and then, once you get in the practice of that and that starts to feel good, starts to feel good.
Speaker 2:Try giving just a little bit of compassion to the folks that you don't like so much. Maybe somebody that let advantage of you in a weak spot, somebody that's difficult in ways that are hard to describe, like you just don't get along. There's a huge opportunity there to see what it is that's causing that friction, like sometimes you know right away that person is a Chargers fan and I'm a Rams fan and we're just that we're never going to get along, and okay. But if you don't understand why it is that somebody rubs you the wrong way, there's an opportunity for that person to be one of your great teachers. So see if you can add a little bit of compassion up to a point. Up to a point, because, while it is important to practice compassion and can be quite rewarding, you don't want to make a fool of yourself. You do not need to be a martyr. You do not need to be a martyr. You do not need to practice idiot compassion where you just let yourself get rolled and played. You don't have to do that. You can defend your boundaries. You can tell people to get out of your space if they're not respecting the compassion that you provide. So number seven practice compassion, but don't make a fool.
Speaker 2:The seventh law of Satanic Buddhism, moving right along as a Satanic adjacent movement, the First Church of the Satanic Buddha is all about sensory indulgence. Now, life is suffering, as always, and a lot of the great sensory indulgences have recoil where great pleasure results in great suffering and sometimes they're inseparable for each other and that can be pretty hot and it's part of life and it's worth practicing deliberately If you are going to indulge your senses and your capacity for pleasure. It's even better if you can do it on purpose. At first this can sound a little bit challenging, like maybe part of the point of sensory indulgence is heedlessness, but not necessarily. You don't really know the power of purposeful, mindful indulgence until you've tried it. There is an art to losing control. There's a book by Jules Evans called the Art of Losing Control that is quite relevant to this Evans called the Art of Losing Control. That is quite relevant to this. That explores all of the ways that people create ecstatic experiences for themselves and there's a lot of structure and lore and deliberate practice that goes into that and that is fertile ground.
Speaker 2:So practice indulgence and practice renunciation. Sometimes the most educational experience you can have is just being bored out of your skull for an hour, and that's what a lot of meditation practice boils down to. And if there's a particular indulgence that's causing you problems, experiment with renouncing that. Don't use cannabis for a month. Maybe your indulgence is complaining. You can have a rubber band around your wrist and just snap it when you have a whiny thought.
Speaker 2:Experiment with renunciation, because that's the flip side of indulgence and it can be super hot and kinky as well. Sometimes renouncing the thing that you most want to indulge in can be a full-body orgasm immediately, and then, when you do get to indulge in that thing, you'll appreciate it on a whole other level. So indulge, renounce and moderate. There's a lot of good stuff to experience in this life and there is not enough time to experience it all at full blast all the time, and that will also fry our nerves and numb our senses to the point where we can't really experience much of anything. So excess in moderation, practice indulgence, renunciation and moderation, practice indulgence, renunciation and moderation, all in moderation. Try being a renunciant for a while and see how it goes, but don't get too into that trip because you'll shut out the world and you don't want to do that. And don't be so moderate that you don't get any highs or lows.
Speaker 2:The Eighth Law of Satanic Buddhism Practice indulgence, renunciation and moderation, all in moderation. Number nine, the ninth and final but not least law of the First Church of Satanic Buddhism hail Satan and also give it up for the Buddha for helping keep things in perspective. Satan is one of the real ones, a protector of the outsiders, the misfits and the downtrodden, an ally of the independent thinkers, the rebels, the wild ones on the edge of town, wild ones on the edge of town making potions, casting spells and preserving the mythology of their people. You gotta give it up for the beast. So hail Satan. And also give Buddha some respect and be the Buddha that you want to see in the world. You can't be a Buddha right away. Sometimes it takes many lifetimes, but in another sense you already are a Buddha right now and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. It's easy to forget, it's easy to pretend and behave as if you're not a Buddha, but know that you are and aim to be a bigger and better Buddha and serve the world in that way as much as you can in this short and ridiculous time that we have together. So hail Satan. Give it up for the Buddha.
Speaker 2:These are the nine laws of Satanic Buddhism as presented on Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes medicated-minutescom. My name's Emerson Dameron, the man behind the dream. Totally responsible for its content, except for the music which is by Chris Rogers. Responsible for its content except for the music which is by Chris Rogers. And none of this would be possible without K-Chung. K-chung Radioorg. K-chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM. You can pick it up if you're in the Chinatown part of the city. Hail Satan, give it up for the Buddha. Levity saves lives. I'm sorry ¶¶.
Speaker 2:So Take a beat, breathe into the experience of being here and ask yourself what am I so afraid of? Maybe you're afraid of missing some essential life experience. You're afraid you already have, or that it doesn't matter because nothing does. Maybe it's nothing, maybe you're just a regular nerves McGee, or maybe you're afraid of your own glorious cataclysmic power, the riotous multitude you contain. You are smart enough to know how nearly infinitely ignorant you are, but you're not too smart to be hot, and you may already be a satanic Buddhist. Nothing is good or bad in isolation, only in context. The Buddha and the Beastmaster are a good team. This, right here, is all you get. Life is for living up down across diagonally, sideways, because nothing matters. You may already be a satanic Buddhist.
