Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes
LA’s #1 avant-garde personal development program. I'm Emerson Dameron. I love you, personally. Levity saves lives.
The home of Ask a Sadist, Bite-Sized Erotic Thrillers, and the First Church of the Satanic Buddha. Levity saves lives.
Regularly scheduled episodes premiere on the first Wednesday of the month on KCHUNG Los Angeles.
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes
Choose Your Illusion
Be stable. Be confident. Challenge yourself. Believing in something doesn't make it true unless you really commit to it. Maybe there's something wrong with you. Maybe not. Breathe. Slow down. Feel your feelings. Choose your illusion.
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is a production of KCHUNG.
Music by Visions of the Universe. Written, performed, produced, and created by Emerson Dameron, who is solely responsible for its content. Levity saves lives.
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Emerson Dameron's Sophistication Nation - April 4th - All major music-delivery platforms
It's OUT! Sophistication Nation: Brief Interviews with Women I Pretend to Understand: https://emersondameron.hearnow.com/sophistication-nation
Breathe in, breathe out, awareness, rest, circle of life, union of opposites, that big sexy Ouroboros of destiny. You can have it all. Try your Focus and Sleep Starter Kit from Magic Mind at 45% off for listeners to Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes if you go to magicmindcom, slash Emerson Jan E-M-E-R-S-O-N-J-A-N. Focus, sleep repeat. Magic Mind, proud sponsor of LA's number one avant-garde personal development program, emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes already in progress. Minutes already in progress.
Speaker 1:You can't always get what you want, at least not with that attitude. Believing in something doesn't make it true unless you really commit to it. You can believe whatever garbage you want. So be selective about what garbage you believe. Believe in yourself the hardest. That way, as long as you're alive, you'll always exist. You create your own reality, but you can't expect anyone else to back you. You're listening to k chung, los angeles. K chung radio dot org 16 30 am in certain areas of Los Angeles, including Chinatown, downtown, a little bit of Echo Park, maybe some other places, depending on how things line up.
Speaker 1:I am Emerson Dameron. This is Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes. Medicated-minutescom made possible in part by the First Church of the Satanic Buddha and the Order of the Screaming Release. However, I, emerson Dameron, am entirely responsible for the content of the show. I am the host, producer, director, writer, the entire crew, pretty much everything. The music is by Visions of the Universe, everything else is by me, and I have an important message, and that is that it is important to be stable, to be confident and to change your thinking when it isn't serving you. Your thinking when it isn't serving you.
Speaker 1:Now it can be relatively easy to get caught up in negative, destructive, useless loops of thought. Everyone does it, you do it, I do it. Everyone does it, you do it, I do it, they do it. It's been done. It's time for something else. It's hard at first to change the way that you're thinking, the way that you talk to yourself, the assumptions that you make about the world, but the longer that you do it, if you make it a deliberate practice to call those things out as you see them, it will get easier. And at some point it will get easier, and at some point it will be easier to keep doing it that way than it will be to backslide. And this is not just a nice lifestyle accessory, this is not a nice-to-have to have. This is absolutely necessary to do what needs to be done in this scary, chaotic time of discontinuity, when all bets are off and no one is ready for what's already happened happened.
Speaker 1:So if you're bedeviled by negative thoughts, limiting beliefs, maybe you spiral into self-destructive narratives. It's time to go to war with that kind of thinking. There is just no time, no space to indulge that kind of thing. You need to increase the capacity of what your nervous system can handle. You need to breathe, get really into your body, be present, use all of those sensory faculties, those things beyond the analytical mind, your intuition, you might call it. It's time to bring that back because we need it badly. You need it most of all in your life for yourself to use your own intuition and presence. But everyone who comes into your mix also needs that. I need that. Your friends and lovers need that. If you have kids, they need that. I don't have kids. I don't want them. I have nothing against your kids. If they're annoying, it's probably your fault. They deserve warrior strength, the kind of stability and confidence and sovereignty agency that makes people wildly creative, filthy, rich and sexy like Satan, sexy like scene. And you might have to at first indulge in a little bit of suspension, of disbelief to get yourself there.
Speaker 1:You are wrong about most of the things that you believe. We all have that in common. We're not good at especially predicting the future, but also understanding our own pasts. There's a reason that eyewitness testimony is not normally credible. We don't experience generally. We interpret pure raw. Experience is something that people stare at walls for years to be able to do. So there's no shame in putting a nice thick layer of interpretation on things. But you get to what that interpretation is, what content and texture and valence it has. You get to choose your illusion and use your illusion to create your reality. You get to decide how you want to be wrong. We all need a certain threshold of delusion and denial to get anything done. Otherwise life is just chaos. We have to match the patterns and normally we do that without really thinking about it. But the stakes are high enough right now that it behooves us to take a bit of responsibility for how we're wrong, what illusions we choose for ourselves, because that will create our reality. All kinds of ridiculous things become quote-unquote true all the time. So think and feel what you want to put into that mix.
Speaker 1:In the meantime, it would be nice if money wasn't a thing. I don't think you need to be rich. I think it can be fun to be rich. I think you need to be self-sufficient and solvent to the point where you don't have to worry about money, because if you have to worry about money, that tends to just suck the joy right out of everything else. So you need at least a little bit of money, and you can get that pretty easily. All you have to do is charge what you're worth, maybe a little bit more when you know what you're good at and you get sick, nauseated, ready to puke from selling yourself short your whole life, start charging for it.
Speaker 1:Get paid or give it away. That's the non-productive expenditure that our boy, batai, celebrates. There's nothing wrong with just setting it on fire and having a party, but not all the time. It loses its meaning if that's the only thing you're doing. So charge them, bill them, make them pay. It's not about revenge, it's just about getting compensated for what you're putting out there. I hope that there's something better than capitalism on the way. I think everything that's going to happen with climate change gives us an enormous opportunity to completely rethink our relationship with abundance and how we take care of each other and what we value and the systems we create. I'm here for that. In the meantime, the stuff you need ain't free, so make sure you're getting paid.
Speaker 1:Start the negotiation at a ridiculously high amount. That way they can always come back lower. They probably will. That's the whole point of negotiating. But you have set the proper tone that you are not someone to be trifled with, that you know your own worth and that you don't need to do anyone any favors unless you really want to. Otherwise you gotta get paid. That's the way it is right now. Everyone has a price. Make sure yours is maybe a little bit higher than you're comfortable with. You might not know your own worth. If you're anything like me, you underestimate that. So overcompensate and overcharge. If people can't enjoy spending money, maybe they're better off without it, so take it from them.
Speaker 1:You have a right to be selective about the people with whom you associate. There might be people in your life that are passive-aggressive, manipulative, have hidden agendas. Hidden agendas are running covert contracts where they expect something from you, but they haven't had the courtesy to tell you what that is, but they nevertheless will resent it if they don't get it. That's dangerous and confusing, and when they get mad about it, it you don't know what's going on. You don't have to associate with those people.
Speaker 1:You can support the people you love when they're down up to a point. At some point they have to start taking care of themselves. If that involves reparenting themselves or getting some professional help, they can do that. They're your friends. They're not children, they're adults. Some of them might have post-graduate educations. Of course, bad luck happens to everyone and we all need supportive friends around us when that does happen. But we have to be prepared to support our friends in turn, and at some point that means taking responsibility for your life, realizing that you have everything you need to do great work, owning your own power and getting back in there. And if people refuse to take care of themselves especially if they refuse to acknowledge that they're refusing to take care of themselves, you don't have to hate them, but it might be a good idea to let them go. Respect the different trip that they're on. They could very well come back around later.
Speaker 1:The present moment is the only place where anything is happening, but it's not forever. Things can change. Allow people to change, especially if they need to, and be ready to change yourself. Experiment with new ideas, try new things, get out there. Dare to be surprised Is a good way to make the time meaningful, to take a different way home from work. See a different part of the city. Pick a place, explore the neighborhood around that place. Get involved with different groups of people who don't know each other. That will broaden your horizons socially and in terms of what kinds of beliefs you're exposed to.
Speaker 1:But at some point go with what you know. You get good at what you do every single day. So cultivate a practice or recognize a practice that you're already engaged in. Some of the things you do every day might not seem all that productive. Some of them you might feel guilty about. Porn, for instance. You could direct porn. You could channel that energy through the power of sex transmutation into designing a great work of architecture.
Speaker 1:If you're masturbating every day, that's a lot of energy that's going into that. That could be a non-productive expenditure. If it's fun, then sometimes that's all you need. But that means if you're using it for that, you could use it for something else. So if that's not what you have to offer the world which I'm guessing, you probably have other things and maybe should offer those instead, think about what that might be. Channel your energy. Cultivate a practice.
Speaker 1:The best way to get rich is to get rich doing something you'd be doing anyway. Find out what you love to do and then do it and people come along, which they will, because when you're in the zone it's intoxicating. You're charismatic, you're magnetic. You draw people in when they show up, charge them, get paid, make up a job and have it. You can do that. It might take some trial and error, but If you're doing it, you're learning something and you're probably getting good stories, and a lot of it is probably funny or will be.
Speaker 1:But you don't have to constantly challenge yourself. It's good to spend a good amount of time outside of what's normally easy and comfortable for you and make sure you're challenging yourself. Be around people who will help you level up blah, blah, blah All of that is good. Be around people who will help you level up Blah, blah, blah All of that is good. But make it easy on yourself. When it comes to what you do for a living, what you have to offer the world. You are almost definitely already doing something that is of value, and there's a range of possibilities of what that might be, because there is so much work to be done. So think about it. And when the negative thoughts creep in which is what they do, when you're right on the edge of a breakthrough, that's when the resistance comes at you many times strong. Be stable, be confident, go to war with those thoughts. Make fun of those thoughts, Turn them into a joke. Go do something else instead and then come back. Get it done, because that's how we do it. We do the damn thing, like we always do about this time.
Speaker 1:This is Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes on Kchung Kchungorg. Medicated-minutescom. Levity saves lives. It feels great to have feelings, as long as they're the good ones. Feeling bad feelings is the worst feeling in the world, but you have to feel them anyway. Here's how Get out of your head, let go of your narrative, get so deeply into your body that you basically are having sex with yourself.
Speaker 1:When you feel a bad feeling, lean into it, scream, cry, hit yourself in the groin. It might feel awful at first. It might continue to feel awful, but only cowards and losers are afraid of their own feelings. Feel it. I don't want your love. Unless you know, I am repulsive. And love me even as you know it.
Speaker 1:That's the philosopher George Bataille, one of the patron saints of Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, who was found repulsive by many people, so a lot of his work was banned. To be fair, he did express some of his ideas through pornography, which could be seen as asking for trouble. He disdained academia. He beefed with the surrealists and the existentialists and kind of shut him off from some of the major currents of the time. A lot of people found him repulsive, but not everyone, and the ones who love him love him a lot, and I want to be loved a lot. I want to be adored. I've had that experience. It is galvanizing, intoxicating, life-changing. I want that for you as well.
Speaker 1:I've been described as a sadist with a heart of gold. I don't think that quite covers it, because it doesn't mention that I'm also an absolutely hopeless romantic, just the worst Dreamy. I keep heirlooms, old letters, old letters. I've, uh I got a sappy side. I never denied it. Maybe I did at some point, but if I did, I take it all back Because I'm a hopeless romantic, although it doesn't always show.
Speaker 1:It's the kind of thing I've often hesitated to be vulnerable about. I have two conflicting desires that define my life. I have a longing to connect with other people and I have a strong desire to be left alone, and sometimes those things come in conflict in ways that I'm not consciously aware of. When I was younger, I would often reach out to people in ways that were nearly guaranteed to fail, and when that happened I would feel sad and lonely and I would not accept responsibility for it because I would not see the ways in which I was sabotaging myself. That was something I didn't have the wisdom or insight to see. I'm getting better at that now. Sometimes I get my feelings hurt. That happens. I'm not the most emotionally intelligent person I know. I'm getting a little bit better.
Speaker 1:All the time, part of me still wants to be liked. I have the nervous reaction where, when I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I tend to fill the air with words in hopes of providing some entertainment, value or at least being a distraction, and people will be grateful for that and maybe I'll be rewarded somehow. And if people I don't like or respect end up liking and respecting me, I win. But it's a hollow victory and there's more to life than that, as I've come to realize as I've grown up, as I've become more into people in general, I think I've noticed recently that there are a lot of other people around. Some of them are a lot more interesting than I am. That's very exciting. Also a little bit more selective about who I spend my time with. I only have so much of it left and left.
Speaker 1:There have been times in my life when I was lonely but did not let myself enjoy it. I'm a little bit lonely right now. I've got people who care about me. I've got activities, things to do, some loving community. I'm lonely in other ways. There have been times in my life when I had people super close, text me, keep tabs on me throughout the day. That's not really the case right now. I have to make an effort that gives me some free time. I've got some time on my hands. I'm learning some hard skills Ropes, flogging, things like that, taking hikes in the Bologna wetlands something I enjoy. But there have been times when I was lonely and I was not able to enjoy it. I was kind of a weird kid from the jump. I was shuffled into counseling because I wasn't really getting along with my peers. Things were awkward at home. I could tell a lot of things were wrong, but it wasn't made clear what those things were. So there was just a low-level sense of menace all the time I didn't have a lot of other kids come over to my house, but the two or three who did independently from each other said, yeah, there's a weird atmosphere in that place, so it wasn't shocking.
Speaker 1:When I was 14, I was diagnosed with chronic depression. I was diagnosed with chronic depression Chronic is a scary word. There I was put on handfuls of medication. I don't know what they were doing. I was prescribed Prozac, paxil, lithium, respiradol, a lot of other stuff, just to see if anything would move the needle, and nothing really did.
Speaker 1:I think I just always needed a more for lack of a better word spiritual approach to soulful approach. Let's say that I don't care about the spirit. I want to get embodied here. Let's get sexy. I need to get into my body and have soulful experiences to feel good, and that's what I wasn't getting a lot of when I was a teenager, which is not unusual. I had trouble making friends. I didn't like myself very much. I didn't really feel like I belonged. I freaked out on the first day of kindergarten when I found out that there was also going to be a second day of kindergarten and then another one after that and kind of not really changing for years and years. I can handle anything when there's a definite end in sight, but that's not really true of participating in society. You have to do that indefinitely in most cases. I was freaked out about that.
Speaker 1:The diagnosis of depression came as a bit of a relief, because up until then I had just had a sense that something was wrong with me and I didn't understand it. I think I was like Kurt Cobain or any William Styron other people I admired Sylvia Plath, ernest Hemingway, bring it. It gave me something to be and identify with and that was useful at the time because I didn't have to feel like I was completely alone and the depression was sort of a relief from the anxiety. I'd been so anxious for so long that I kind of blown out my circuits and when I got really into being depressed it was something of a relief from that, although it also became a cul-de-sac and the medication didn't really help. I don't remember ever getting much benefit from it.
Speaker 1:I don't like SSRIs. I don't like the way that they make me. I don't like SSRIs. I don't like the way that they make me feel. I don't like the numbing effect.
Speaker 1:I've gotten a lot out of certain medications when I really needed them when I was in so much pain from my anxiety that it felt like the fire alarm was stuck on and there was nothing I could do to make it turn off. Certain medications were lifesavers, but I was on a lot of medications, including Paxil, which is not prescribed to teenagers anymore because that was a bad idea teenagers anymore. Because that was a bad idea and it would be unrealistic to think that that didn't have some effect on how my body and my mind were wired up during that very vulnerable growing stage when I was not yet fully formed. But I was taking just handfuls of psychopharmacological nostril Because I was sad and lonely. I lived in a small town. There wasn't a lot to do. It kind of made sense.
Speaker 1:By the time I got to college I was on. I'd been on the medication for a long time. I was bloated, impotent. Being impotent as a weird high school boy wasn't that big a deal, but by the time I got to college it was kind of a buzzkill. But by the time I got to college it was kind of a buzzkill and I avoided intimacy. I thought I wanted it but I was doing a lot to sabotage my own ability to connect with women and I think it's because I was afraid of what was going to happen, which was nothing in a lot of cases. I was on all those antidepressants I was not able to perform.
Speaker 1:One thing that helped with that was binge drinking. I started as a social drinker, which worked wonders in making it easier to hang out with my peers. Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands and thousands of years, for good reason, and it then escalated to the point where I was just playing chicken with my own mortality. I was not a social drinker, I was not a fun drinker, I was a full-time professional. I was mixing it with benzos, which can lead to all kinds of interesting, sometimes dark and disturbing adventures and disturbing adventures, and I drank and drank and drank until my pancreas exploited. But before it got to that point, it did make it easier for me to hook up. I managed to do that quite a bit in college and I found that if I didn't really care, I didn't tend to have performance issues, and if I was drunk I tended to care even less. So that let me know that it was possible and that it could be potentially very pleasurable if I could care, but care in a different way from the way that I had been caring. It was not the caring itself that was causing the problems, it was the way I was doing it and, uh, I've had some five-star sex since then. So it's something I'm working on.
Speaker 1:I'm, uh, present Patient. I enjoy intimacy Sometimes. I'm selective. I don't drink anymore. I'm somewhat cow-y sober. I had some great experiences with psychedelics. I would never say that those should be off the table, unless you just know that you can't handle them and it's not going to go anywhere. Good, and then you should probably not do those things. But I think almost any drug it's all about context and we are slowly creating a better context as we, I'm hoping, emerge from the carnage of the war on drugs and focus on harm reduction. I'm not anti-drug because I think you can get a lot out of them. I certainly have my relationship.
Speaker 1:History might have been difficult even without the medication. Even if I never identified myself as being depressed, I was early I got the feeling that I had some proclivities that made me worry that I might be a bad person. I was kinky and repressed from way back. There were two very attractive older girls, like two years older than me, which seemed like and laughed at my jokes and it confused the hell out of the other guys on my hall because nobody really understood why this was happening to me. I didn't take it entirely seriously, but maybe I took it a little bit more seriously than I should have. I really liked the attention. It felt so good. I felt like a rock star when I was informed at the end of summer camp that what had in fact happened was that those two girls on the first day had decided let's pick the weirdest looking hayseed new kid in the new class and follow him around, shower him with affection, make him think that we're in love with him. And won't that be a hilarious prank that hurt.
Speaker 1:To say that it damaged my self-esteem somewhat would be accurate. I'm sure they've forgotten about it. I'd say I've largely gotten over it. I'm sure they've forgotten about it. I'd say I've largely gotten over it. But I don't really trust people right away when they seem to be super into it. I need to hear their reasoning. What is the attraction here? I can't just take it at face value. I got badly hurt. I tend to not pursue. I tend to end up with a mix of the kinds of super intense women who will come after me. Some of them are the most wonderful, inspiring people I've ever met in my life. Some of them have brought a certain level of chaos into my mix. That's how it's been.
Speaker 1:I'm getting better at going for what I want, but that hasn't always been the way. I've generally been shy about making my feelings known Because, again, right from the beginning I thought those feelings might make me a bad person. I don't want to be that guy, might make me a bad person. I don't want to be that guy. But I never got all that good at being this guy. I think I'm getting better. Once I got into relationships, it was really hard to extricate myself if things weren't going well. The best relationship I've ever been in was ruined because I was not all the way out of the previous relationship I've been in, which was the worst relationship I've ever been in. That was a bummer. That was a bummer. I think one thing that has helped is recognizing the importance of context, not fighting the last battle. I'm not in high school anymore. I'm not a weird hill person with braces at summer camp who's new and nobody knows him except that he seems shy and obsessed with a lot of weird stuff. I'm not that in that position anymore. So context changes and context affects everything.
Speaker 1:I still use my pain and paranoia as prophylactics against intimacy. I've been hurt. I'm scared of getting hurt again. I don't want to set myself up to get hurt and sometimes I deprive myself of wonderful experiences because of that reluctance and because of my indulgence in my own mild misanthropy and a lot of very painful open wounds that I've had from dealing with people. I think in some cases like there is a biological factor, like I wouldn't be totally surprised if my brain chemistry was a little to the left of what would be considered modal in terms of some of the things that make people anxious and depressed. I certainly have some neuroticism going on. I've never denied it. I try to use it Sometimes. It could be really good for writing comedy.
Speaker 1:But I think suffering is always at least somewhat circumstantial. I think most diagnoses are somewhat arbitrary. It's based on our best understanding that we have right now and that's affected by all of the bizarre incentives that you see in science and medicine. So it's all somewhat arbitrary. There can be some truth and a life-affirming sense of identification in some of those diagnoses. But times change. They can shift. We're bad at predicting the future. We don't want to box ourselves in too much.
Speaker 1:We want to figure out what we're good at and do that, but also dare to be surprised. What we need often comes through unexpected channels. Self-realization is, self-expression is what life is all about, and we need to keep ourselves open for as much of that as possible, and sometimes it means just not sweating the diagnosis too much. Maybe it means getting a new one. Maybe it means letting yourself enjoy some of your self-inflicted suffering. Understand how you're doing this to yourself and allow yourself to get off on it. That can just be for you. You don't have to do it in public or tell anyone about it, but sometimes that can be what sets you free to do something better, or at least to do something else.
Speaker 1:Say, my mental health history predates my romantic history and certainly affected every minute of it. I've learned a lot. I've seen things from angles that a lot of people don't get to see. I'm ready to let all of that go for a few sexy hours, if that's what it takes to experience real presence and intimacy and joy. We are who we are in relation to others. We need that. I need that.
Speaker 1:I can't speak for you. Maybe you don't, possibly you do. If you think you don't, you might. You could be wrong. There's no point in beating up on yourself unless you're really good at it. So don't be cruel to yourself, except when it gets you off hard.
Speaker 1:You say you don't like to suffer. Your actions indicate otherwise. The first noble truth is life is suffering. It can also be a non-stop shattering orgasm, but you can't stay home and torture yourself forever. So come out and find some other people to torture. Suffer like you mean it. Let's slow it down, be patient. Let's slow it down, be patient. One of my virtues is that I'm very, very, very patient, and I love that about myself.
Speaker 1:With most things that matter, it helps to slow down. Nature does not hurry. Nature does not hurry, and yet everything is accomplished. Move slowly. You don't have to move for anybody. Life is a long, long-term practice. Long term practice. You can choose how to focus your attention and expand your awareness when you figure out how to slow it way down.
Speaker 1:Pause, breathe, get back in your body and now zoom way out. See things from the overhead view, from the cockpit of your highest intelligence. Pause, breathe, breathe. Your breath is your portal. You are always breathing. You can take your breath. Anywhere you go, you can practice breathing. Take your breath anywhere you go, you can practice breathing whenever you want. As long as you have to breathe anyway, which you do in order to survive, you may as well get really, really good at breathing. Bring it all the way in, all the way down. Let your breath bring you back into your body. You can try more esoteric breathing practices, such as Wim Hof or holotropic breath work. Those can be useful in understanding how much your nervous system can take and what it takes to be strong for yourself and the people who love you and need you to be strong and need you to be strong.
Speaker 1:Learn to zoom out, even in crisis and chaos. Be patient. Be patient and be present right here and right now. It's the only place where anything is happening. That's the present moment, and it's certainly happening now If you're here for it, but it's not forever. Right now, right now, is where the action is, but things will inevitably change. Inevitably change. That's the magic of impermanence, and we are not good at predicting the future. Even those of us who are best at predicting the future are essentially guessing. Things will be different, inevitably, and you can decide what to do, how to do, how to be, how to be wrong, in such a way that things end up being better than you could possibly imagine right now.
Speaker 1:Life will surprise you if you cooperate, if you let it, if you get with the natural rhythms of the world and the human experience which you can do. It will happen when you slow down, breathe, pause, zoom out, breathe, pause, zoom out. You might be worried about the future. You could be in debt or behind on promises that you've made to yourself. Set an unattainable goal, something so big and ridiculous, hyperbolic and outsized that you know you are never going to achieve it. I would like to own Hollywood. I probably won't, but I can live my life as if I were pursuing that goal and, in fact, had already achieved it. That's the magic of an unattainable goal. You're not going to be disappointed, but you're going to have a new and powerful way to carry yourself and think about yourself and be in the world. It will make you attractive, a source of strength.
Speaker 1:Choose your unattainable goal carefully and deliberately. Get out into nature. Get out into nature, discover what you really want, what you feel, the physical sensations that are below all of the stories that you tell yourself about yourself and your life and feel into what you really want. What ridiculous thing were you put on earth to do? Think about how you might do it and then pause, breathe, slow down, breathe, slow down, slow it way, way down. Get really really into the moment. Feel your feelings, moment. Feel your feelings All of them, ugly ones, ugly, cry, scream in your car. That's the message of the Order of the Screaming Rose. That's the message of the order of the screaming robes. All of that grief, anger, sadness, it will come up at first. You will feel all of that, possibly cry, scream a lot, lose it. You may not feel any better for it right away, but you're getting that stuff moving and that is good. Feel the fear and still be an unapologetic, kinky, gross, disgusting, hopeless romantic.
Speaker 1:You've been listening to Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes on K-Chung, los Angeles, kchungradioorg. The music is by Visions of the Universe, everything else is by me. I am Emerson Dameron, the creator, producer, director, writer and entire crew for Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, which is made possible in part by generous support from the First Church of the Satanic Buddha and the Order of the Screaming Release. Levity saves lives. At first I thought this was seriously a setup. She seemed really into it. At first I thought this was seriously a setup. She seemed really into it and then I thought maybe she loved taking my discipline and also was using sex for power. I don't know if that blew my mind, but it blew something Steamy, dreamy and way too hot for radio. Crimson Transgressions, a bite-sized erotic thriller by Emerson Dameron. Find it before it finds you.
