Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes
LA’s #1 avant-garde personal development program. I'm Emerson Dameron. I love you, personally. Levity saves lives.
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Regularly scheduled episodes premiere on the first Wednesday of the month on KCHUNG Los Angeles.
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes
No One Would Say You're Not a Magnificent Xylophonist
Know what you have a right to be wrong about. Recalibrate your moral compass for tough times. Learn things you didn't know about people who don't, in the conventional sense, exist. All that and more on Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, LA's #1 avant-garde personal development program.
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is a production of KCHUNG. Donate to KCHUNG today.
Music by Visions of the Universe and AHOAMI. Written, performed, produced, and created by Emerson Dameron, who is solely responsible for its content.
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Coming Soon! Sophistication Nation: Brief Interviews with Women I Pretend to Understand: https://emersondameron.hearnow.com/
K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM. Kchungradioorg. This is Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes medicated-minutescom. We are LA's number one avant-garde personal development program. I am Emerson Dameron. I am the producer, host, writer, talent and LA's number one avant-garde motivational speaker. You are almost definitely wrong about everything, and so am I. As soon as we start believing anything, we become wrong. Some are more wrong, some are less wrong. People are wrong in different directions. The philosopher Ken Wilber says that no one is smart enough to be wrong 100% of the time, but it's safe to assume that we are wrong to degrees about almost everything we believe. That's why science is confusing to people who think that reality is fixed because their job is to prove themselves wrong and find out new things. The philosophy of this show includes encouraging you to think sort of like a scientist, sort of like a detective and sort of like the trickster coyote who's rooting for chaos.
Speaker 2:And as long as you're going to be wrong.
Speaker 1:You may as well be wrong about the right things, and I've thought about this and I've come up with a few things that I think it is okay to be wrong about. So if you are self-conscious about being wrong, here's some stuff that you can feel good about having bad opinions on. If it turns out that you are wrong and in most cases these are not falsifiable, so you don't have to sweat it anytime soon and away we go the right things to be wrong about. I would say that in a lot of scenarios, it makes more sense to be high on yourself and wrong than down on yourself and right, and I say this as someone who, for years and years, has had a brutal internal monologue. Years and years has had a brutal internal monologue Basically a bully with a nightstick in my head that talks all kind of crap all day long. If I could, I would physically get it cut out of my brain, but it's also in my nervous system and my DNA. It's part of me, and much of my life has been spent finding ways to make peace with it or figure out how to deal with it. The thing that I've had the most fun with has been just going all the way to the opposite extreme and acting as if the inner bully is absolutely wrong about everything, and the more disparaging he gets, the more amazing I get.
Speaker 1:I think it pays to be self-aware and realistic about where you are in the food chain and in your own life. You can't will yourself out of a spiral of debt or addiction or a toxic relationship or anything like that. That requires action. Action is part of this. One of the things you want to do is get high on your own supply, which includes some action powder that makes you take action. So you're getting high on yourself and you're getting out and hitting the city and you're doing the things that you need to do to become the person that you are when you are high on yourself, and I think that's a lot better than getting down on yourself, even if you're right, even if you are a loser who nobody likes. That is more likely to change if you can get high on yourself and rail some action powder and have fun with that.
Speaker 1:I also think that change is possible. It's rare. Change is possible. It's rare, and a lot of the times that it happens, it's not the people that we would most like to see change. I choose to believe that that is true because, even if I'm wrong, I think it's a more useful belief than to think that people are fixed entities and nobody ever really changes, even though in some cases it can seem that way. I also think that reciprocity is a real force in the universe. Some people talk about karma. Karma is an unbelievably complex concept and I would guess that almost no one who talks about it has any idea what they're talking about when they say, oh, he's going to get his. Because I was an English major and I see things in terms of story and narrative. I think reciprocity can be applied there. I sense some give and take. I think actions create reactions. I don't think anyone gets away with anything. I think at best.
Speaker 1:If you do stuff that you know is wrong, you are creating a world that you're not going to want to live in, which is going to be its own punishment. So I think reciprocity if it's wrong. If there's no such thing, it is still a fine thing to be its own punishment. So I think reciprocity if it's wrong. If there's no such thing, it is still a fine thing to be wrong about. Also, on my better days, I choose to believe that all is full of love, as I believe Florence Foster Jenkins, the great singer, put it, and that I am a sexy MF, and I also think that I'm a sexy MF and you are too. In my case, I think that there's somebody out there for everyone, and that person is me. I believe that everyone wants me, and the last thing that is a right thing to be wrong about is that you are probably wrong.
Speaker 1:Even if that's not true, I think it helps to assume that it may smack a pessimism. I think pessimism is actually healthy. It's good to prepare for mishaps and to assume that you need to go over the details one more time because you probably forgot something or left something out or botched some minor detail. Assume that it needs another pass. You'll be glad that you made that assumption most of the time, especially if you've had the feeling of putting stuff out there into the world that has things that are egregiously wrong with it.
Speaker 1:That went out there with your name on it because you got too high on your own supply, without assuming that you were probably wrong. And I also think that we may as well assume that we have free will in lieu of years and years of meditative practice where you learn to make peace with the fact that most of your actions are the results of nearly endless change of causality that you will never have any hope of really understanding and that most of what you consider free choice is backwards rationalization.
Speaker 1:After the fact, you may as well believe that you have free will and free choice. Free will can be a useful illusion until you get fully enlightened, which is our goal. On Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes. I'm Emerson Dameron. I love you personally. Enjoy what you will. Levity saves lives. On with the show.
Speaker 2:Cynicism. It's something to do besides smoking. Last time I checked, that missing piece was between two gross couch cushions in Nevada, where it belongs. Yes, I have feelings. Music makes me sentimental, unless it's trying too hard. There's nothing less funny than a comedian, nothing less hot than pornography, and I've never cried to something to believe in or silent lucidity. But I always cry to rock you like a hurricane.
Speaker 1:Times are tough and I love it. I love bad, bad times. I hope that these times get worse. They're pretty bad. They're not quite where I want them to be in terms of badness. Good times are for losers. Good times create weakness. Weak people screw up good times. That's the only thing that good times are good for. And then times get bad and I come in and just dominate and take over and take everything from everybody. And it's easy because people are weak, they weren't prepared, they're in shock. All of their stuff is there for the taking and I take all of it and you can get some of it too. You're here, you're on my side, you're on the winning team. I probably shouldn't have said that I'll cut you in.
Speaker 1:Okay, people think they shouldn't have problems. That's the biggest problem most people have is they don't want problems. You will always have problems. It's about having the right kind of problems. By the time the problems that you have now are solved or go away, you'll have a whole new set of problems and, if you're lucky, they'll be a whole lot harder to solve and so much worse, because you will build up so much character and strength and fortitude dealing with the worst possible problems that you can get your hands on. That's why I challenge you, after you master your emotions, which we're going to get into in a minute challenge you to find hard problems when you go to bed at night. Go to bed exhausted for dealing with problems all day long. Before you go into sleep, pray for hard problems Approaching impossible. Give yourself an impossible problem. Become godlike. You will transition into your final godlike form, which is where you belong.
Speaker 1:In the meantime, one way to be selective about what problems you have is to be on your mission. Find your fulfillment, your purpose, which is not ordained. You have some power to select that, and there is so much work to be done, so many problems to be solved, so many weaklings that need saving. And if you're here, I know that somewhere what you're good at intersects with what people need. I think it happens in multiple places all over the world. So find where the need is what you love to do, where they intersect, and go. There's so much work to do. Some of it you'll love.
Speaker 1:Don't even worry about money just yet. Take care of your skincare routine. If your skincare is on point and you're using collagen powder in your smoothies and you have that glow, people will just give you stuff and money everything you need. You won't have to worry about it. You can live on zero dollars a day anywhere in the world. People will look out for you.
Speaker 1:If you have beautiful skin, find something that you love to screw up at, because you're going to be bad at first. You're going to have to make a lot of mistakes to learn, and it's going to be something that you need to have a passion for, including being terrible at it and screwing up and analyzing your mistakes fearlessly, looking directly at what you did wrong, figuring out how to fix it, completely humiliating yourself, making an absolute fool and a clown out of yourself with how badly you screw up. Do me a favor and get it on video and don't even think about what you're going to. Don't even think about being prepared. You are prepared. You were born prepared. You love going in and screwing up and finding where your weak spots are and getting better and working out the kinks, hammering out the dents, working out the details, hashing it out, getting better, better, better, incrementally, a little bit at a time the preparation that you need when you encounter your opportunities. But don't even think about it that way. Think about it as giving it all away to your customers, your public, your audience. In my business, which is show business entertainment, there's a difference between getting laughs, which is what hack comedians try to do, and what I do, which is giving laughs. I give it all away to the audience. I trust myself to know what I'm doing. I know that my instincts are good. I know that if I kill someone which is one of my instincts I can talk my way out of it because I'm also intelligent and blessed with the gift of gab, which you should work on.
Speaker 1:But first, master your body. Take care of your physical health. That is the primary thing you want to be focused on. If you are low energy, none of this is going to help you. Nothing else matters. If you're depressed and you look emaciated, it's not nice to say things about you that aren't nice, but it's disgusting. People are repulsed by your depression and your low energy and your low mood and your constant complaining and always needing something, never being able to take care of it yourself. Get it together. Don't be afraid to make a smoothie with green juice in it. Eat meat, hit a punching bag, go for a run. I do all of those things. I hit a punching bag every day. I do it as my exercise routine and also when I get angry, and I'm well prepared for anything that happens, including the worst possible times.
Speaker 1:I will be able to defend myself if my goons turn against me, which I don't think they will. They need me more than I need them. Master your emotions as well. Part of that comes from your body. That's where your energy comes from. That's the source. I don't lead with vulnerability. I think that's not a good idea. I think people will take advantage of you and manipulate you and you're just allowing them to do that if you lead with vulnerability and neediness and weakness. But I could, if I wanted to, because I am in full control of my emotions.
Speaker 1:I've achieved emotional mastery. It's like I have a big remote control and I can turn it up, turn it down, mix it together. I'm like a DJ, scratching and working those knobs and levels and getting just the right mix that I want, as well as my myriad hot sexy lovers. We all enjoy this and I enjoy anything I want because I can just turn up the enjoyment. If it's not getting me stoked on its own, I don't have to put up with that. I can feel good right now or whenever I want, and sometimes I can just shut it off entirely, and that's one of the things that has taken me many years to learn. I can learn it much more quickly in my masterclass. I can learn from all of the mistakes that I made, so you don't have to make them yourself. It's reasonably priced. It'll be in one of the most beautiful locations in the world, an intensive weekend with me or one of my hired goons. If I'm busy that weekend, that might be my jiu-jitsu class. So don't get your heart set on me showing up. If you do and you're disappointed, we will teach you to shut that down, so you don't have to worry about those kinds of feelings.
Speaker 1:Life is about recognizing patterns. That's the first thing you need to know, and you're already very good at that. It's just. I mean, you see patterns everywhere. You see them. Where they're not, you get rejected and you see it as an infinite ongoing state where, oh, I will always be rejected. This is a referendum on me as a person. No, and just no.
Speaker 1:Use your pattern recognition faculties for what you need them for. While you are sitting there feeling sorry for yourself, you don't even notice the phases of the moon, the season's changing. You don't know where North is. Get it together.
Speaker 2:I'm here because I live here. The fact that you think I eshudu be at work doesn't mean anything. The most limp, impotent word in the English language is a should. We had a client presentation for Plummer and Doblin. Amanda Doblin is a Slayer fan. A Slayer shirt can't look like you just bought it. It has to be authentic. Hence the blood. Yes, the blood is real. Yes, it's real vomit. What do you think goes on in our client presentations? Why do you think I was eating apples all day?
Speaker 2:One of my seven goals is to become the kind of person who pays rent on time every month. I don't call it cocaine, I call it take action powder. I can't pay rent if I can't take action and handle my anxiety and depression. You know how hard that can be for me. You can trust me. You can trust me to tell you exactly what I'm thinking, to assess the situation and do what's right for me, to face reality head on and take action. I bought the Foot Lockers because they were on sale. If I was going to sneak out, I wouldn't tell you. If I did, you'd be okay. You don't need me. If you work on yourself, you can be your own best friend. Life is chaos. Baby, you love me, thank you, hey.
Speaker 1:thanks for coming out to drink with me on a weeknight. I know your social calendar is quite robust. I'm glad you could get away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know Everything's different. We've come a long way since Color Guard, that's for sure. If they could see us now, I knew you'd win. Yeah, I'll drink to that as well. Yeah, if you want to leave after the first drink, that's cool. Yeah is finals week. Yeah, um, I do need to talk to you about something.
Speaker 1:It is about the band, and I wanted you to hear this from somebody you can trust, and I've known you for a minute longer than the rest of these people, all of these, many people on the scene. Yeah, I know the band sounds better than ever. I've been in it for four years. This is the classic line-up. These are the days.
Speaker 1:Here's the thing Matt's going to fire you. Yeah, I heard him talking about it. He's been talking about it for months. He says there's like a 90% chance that you're getting the boot. His words yeah, it sucks. I'm really sorry. You're a magnificent xylophone player. Nobody questions that at all. We've had three different xylophonists and you're the best head and shoulders.
Speaker 1:It's just that Matt is thinking about going in a different direction with the band, something more minimalist. Yeah, look, he's a narcissist. He wants to be front and center when we have this symphonic, polyphonic spree kind of thing going. He thinks it takes attention away from him. Yeah, ever since the solo record did well, matt's a slightly different person. He was always full of himself. That's probably why he's the leader. Yeah, I know he's such a prick. Right, I did tell you it was a bad idea to sleep with him, okay, no, I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm not trying to lord it over you, but this is a pattern he presents people that he has sex with. It's some childhood thing, attachment wound I don't care, I don't. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life psychoanalyzing that guy. I need $500 an hour for that, which he has. Yeah, we get paid a lot less. No, your music is so beautiful, it just comes straight from your heart. It's a pure expression of the person I know and love. Yeah, he's saying it just doesn't fit with the new sound that he's trying to do. Yeah, just vent, go for it. You can scream, you can scream at me. You can pretend I'm Matt. Who are you calling? Who are you calling? Yeah, I mean just so you know.
Speaker 1:Ben does know about this. Yeah, he has for a while. You said he was avoiding sex with you. Maybe this had something to do with it. Ben's not my favorite person. I think he's a creep. He's not quite Matt. He experiences guilt and I know for a fact that he's torn in half about this. No, he's fully in the tank. For Matt, this has happened before. When the rubber hits the road, he goes with Matt.
Speaker 1:The band is his whole life. This band is not your whole life. I don't want to hear you say that. Jonathan would just be horrified to hear you say something like that. This band is not your life. Yeah, everything we do changes our lives.
Speaker 1:Joining the band changed your life in some ways for the better, and leaving the band, I think, will open a lot of opportunities. You just have to give it a little bit of time to grieve. Do whatever it takes. Yeah, like I said, there's a chance 10%. He said 90% chance you're fired, which I would assume 10%. Maybe he wants you to leave voluntarily. I think he would have. No, he probably wouldn't have mentioned that himself. Here's what I'm guessing. Oh, yeah, you have to play the show at Zazigi's this weekend. That's not negotiable. No, you won't be able to show your face in this town if you don't play that show. Seriously, don't even think about skipping that and don't tell him. I told you I'm doing this as a favor, as a friend. I want you to get the heads up. Please don't tell them. Yes, I want to stay in the band. I'm a founding member. What are you talking about? Okay, here's. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I said, some very similar scenarios to this have happened before. Here's how it usually goes down. There's some dread game where Matt talks about firing somebody and sets it up so it's gonna get back to them. So it's not straight from him, but they do get wind of it. Like if he thinks maybe they need to torque it up a little bit. Like, yeah, you're a great xylophone player in a formal sense, but maybe I think he wants you to bring a little more energy.
Speaker 1:We're trying to be glam. This is a glam rock band. It's not Berklee School of Music. No, I'm not insulting you. If anything, you're too talented to be in this band. You work too hard. This is a fun band we play. So if you do the Ziggy's and you bring the noise and he sees you having fun, don't be the MVP, but be a key player. Like don't, yeah, do not ever outshine Matt, believe me and this is a big show because there's going to be industry there. It's serious.
Speaker 1:We've been burned before, but this time is slightly different. I don't want to jinx it, so I'm not going to say no, I have not heard Rick Rubin's name floated this time. Yeah, that would have been cool. It was worth the trip to New York just for that dream, okay. So, yeah, show up at Zazigi's.
Speaker 1:Give it everything you got. Have fun seriously. Give it everything you got. Have fun seriously. You need to have fun with this. It needs yeah, I know that you're having fun. I know what it looks like when you're having fun. You need to look like you're having fun to people who don't know you like I do. I know it's going to be hard. I know this is tough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, here's the thing. There's also a chance, if history is any guide, that Matt is going to fire you on stage as a ZZ. Yeah, he's done that before. He did that while you were in the band. That's what happened to Jonathan and yeah, in that case, you should probably cry Like yeah, don't let him know. You saw it coming. Like don't burn me, I'm trying to help you, don't blow up my spot. It's got to look like a surprise and it's part of the show Like this is one of the things he's famous for doing and he wants the industry people to see that. Yeah, I'd have to say this is probably it. If I were you, I would show up and bring it and have a blast, just so you can. That's a great way to go out and that will be remembered and recognized. No, matt and Ben don't care, but people with hearts and feelings around town will recognize and respect that.
Speaker 1:And oh, here's another thing Manny and Richard are starting a new band. Yeah, they both got kicked out. Richard got kicked out before your time. I think you and Manny were bandmates for like two weeks and he got kicked out also on stage at a show. No, the band is shockingly good. I was just as surprised as you are. Yeah, they asked me if I wanted to manage. I can't really do that. That would cause real problems with Matt. I could be like a silent partner in management. You know Megadeth started that way. Dave Mustaine was drummed out of Metallica and started a band that was very successful in its own right, not like Metallica.
Speaker 1:But yeah, listen, this is tough. I know things have changed a lot since you joined the band. Yeah, cynthia and Roger and them. They're going to stick with Matt. Yeah, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Look, I know you. I know who you are. I know you. I know who you are. I know your characters. I know your values. I know what you believe in. Look, you're better off doing your own thing. Seriously, this was going to end in tears and you had a good ride. You accomplished a lot. Yeah, you're going to be on. I think you're going to be on. I think you're going to be on the next record. Yeah, make sure you get paid for that. That's not something that you can assume is going to happen. Yeah, I have to stick around.
Speaker 1:I'm a founding member. I'm indispensable. Yeah, these things are tough. Change is hard, but it's inevitable and it's the only way we go into new things that could be better, into new things that could be better. Yeah, I defended you, of course.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I told Matt. I thought he was making a big mistake. I'm not afraid of him. I can say what I want, but he can do what he wants. There's not much I can do about that. It's his band. I mean, it's kind of my band, it's partly my band, but he's the majority shareholder and it's his vision, and what he says goes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know these people in this town are such garbage. Yeah, these people, for all of their flaws, the people in this world that we're in, they're really the best you could do in this town. Yeah, you can't come to. I don't think it's a good idea for you to come to the parties anymore if you leave the band on bad terms, just kind of how it's being set up. Yeah, it's kayfabe, it's wrestling, it's so stupid. Matt is such a child. But, yeah, you won't be invited to that anymore. You can do your own thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fun is not the first word I think of when I think of you, but I'm fun. Yeah, I could have parties and would not invite Matt. I'd party with Manny all the time. Oh no, his coke is not. You don't even get anywhere near that stuff. Yeah, I know you could always sleep with me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, that's a joke. Yeah, you told me it was never going to happen. I respect that. I'm just saying, if it comes down to that, yeah, of course that hurts my feelings, I'm going to let it go. You're having a hard time or it's a rough night? Yeah, I'm getting drunk. Hang out, let's make it a night, let's celebrate or whatever the opposite of celebrating is. All I'm saying is you could do a lot worse. You have Recently. No, I'm not trying to twist the knife, I'm sorry. I'm trying to lighten the mood, okay, yeah, I know. Yeah, it's Nothing really helps except time. Don't write off this new band, though. That xylophone is just what they need and you're damn good at xylophone. Siofm Suzanne is a sleeper.
Speaker 1:She's not who you think she is at first. Yeah, she doesn't advertise. She's not out there trying to be funny or interesting, but the more you get to know her, she has had a fascinating life, multiple lives, really. Did you know? She's been married three times. Yeah, I know you wouldn't think. Yeah, the first one was in her hometown where she spent the first 22 years of her life. It's old school, very traditional. Yeah, pretty much everybody gets married in their early 20s. A lot of it's uh, kind of arranged from with their children. But, like, everyone's cool with it because Because, yeah, it's a good quality of life, it's self-contained, it's not really affected too much by the outside world, because they're like a family Everybody knows everybody and pretty much everybody loves everybody. You have to screw up hard to not be loved there. It is also very backward in some ways, like Suzanne, of course was adored. Yeah, that kind of hometown sweetness, that's not an affectation. I think that might be who she is on a deep level. And yeah, she was absolutely loved Beautiful, kind, thoughtful, approachable, intelligent, funny in an interesting way. Yeah, she loved everybody. Everybody loved her.
Speaker 1:There were a couple of guys that very much wanted to marry her Ryan and Steve. Yeah, ryan was kind of the athlete, slash, intellectual. Yeah, he read Nietzsche and there's classic literature too. Yeah, I don't know how he had the time. I guess they did have audiobooks. Yeah, it wasn't that long ago. But yeah, super smart, super athletic, a little avoidant. We all have our flaws. They make us more lovable. And Steve was not. No, he was different. He was definitely in his own world. Yeah, he had a group of friends that were like the people that didn't really have anywhere else to sit in the cafeteria. So they sat together and they started a friend group, kind of as a defense mechanism, by default, although they didn't really like each other. No, he was cool.
Speaker 1:It's not like what I'm making it sound like. Even the untouchables in this town, where they were part of the family, and Suzanne I totally believe this says that she would have been equally happy with either. She loved them both like brothers that she could see herself having sex with, so like hot stepbrothers I guess, yeah, ryan seemed like a more apt choice. No, she loves Steve. She sees the good in everybody. Sometimes, the deeper it's hidden, the more it means to her. And yeah, I mentioned that it was backward. I didn't mention that.
Speaker 1:If there's a situation like this, where two suitors are basically evenly matched and the would-be bride doesn't make a choice, they fight to the death. I know it's weird, I don't know. I guess the feds don't know about this or you know, the G-men don't show up until they've got you dead to rights. They'll circle for years getting enough information to get a warrant. Yes, and I don't know if honor cultures are what they're investigating a lot right now.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's totally illegal. Actually, the laws of this town specifically allow it. Actually, the laws of this town specifically allow it. But that's in contradiction to every state and federal law or guideline. But, yeah, they do it. It's a fistfight, so you have to kill the other person in bare-knuckles combat and that's exactly the kind of thing that Ryan had been preparing himself for. And, yeah, steve got knocked out and, yeah, he did die in the hospital three days later and Ryan was declared the victor and Suzanne and Ryan started to plan their wedding.
Speaker 1:But then it got out. They were into some weird sex stuff while suzanne was yeah, like I said, she's way more interesting than she gets credit for. But she doesn't. This is, she doesn't talk about herself like this. Yeah, it was, um, it was not like any. You know, it was consenting adults. It's not anything I would think twice about living in LA. But in this community you had to be discreet about it and Ryan's whole thing was being watched.
Speaker 1:So eventually, yeah, they got caught and they had to flee Because that's, yeah, the honor culture kind of pervades and saturates the whole society of that place. So they had to get out that night with just whatever they could pack and they skipped town and they landed in a place they could pack and they skipped town and they landed in a place that she calls it Lawyerville. I don't think that's the real name, but it would be appropriate because there's this aggressive elite class that kind of runs everything. And they did not like Ryan. They hated him. On sight, I think they could see that they'd met their match. But he hadn't done anything yet so they couldn't kick them out. They just kind of isolated them. The neighbors wouldn't talk to them, wouldn't talk to them. Yeah, they were kind of alone in this not-so-nice house in a not-so-nice part of town, which was good because they didn't have to deal with the warrior class on the other side of town by the water. But yeah, eventually they were just like what are we gonna do to eke out a living here? They thought about going back on the road, but there's already. They were just like what are we going to do to eke out a living here? They thought about going back on the road, but they knew that the people from Suzanne's hometown were after them and they needed to lay low. So Ryan was like I'm going to lay super low, I'm going to become the king of the criminal underworld in this town. And it was not hard for him to do that. He happened to stumble into a power vacuum. It was an unusually poorly organized criminal underworld which is really saying something, and it was pretty easy for him to get that going.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile Suzanne was at home, a lot changing channels on the TV. There were only three channels. That got old really fast. For a while, yeah, she was day drinking but she said she was drinking wine at noon. For a while. Yeah, she was day drinking but she said she was drinking wine at noon for a week but then cut that out because she didn't want to go down that road after her mom's situation.
Speaker 1:But yeah, now she had nothing to do with the boredom and yeah, she hooked up with this warrior class dude named Lucius. She had nothing to do with the boredom and yeah, she, um, she hooked up with this warrior class dude named Lucius. I just jacked up, roided out big guy yeah, ryan knew about it and he, um, he had some of his own things going on in the underworld. If you're, um, if you're on in the underworld, if you're king of the underworld, you have pretty much irresistible opportunities for sex. So they had a deal. Oh, yeah, suzanne is open-minded, doesn't begin to describe it. Yeah, she's wild, she's seen some stuff. But anyway, she got involved with this guy named Lucius and the sex was good. He was a little selfish, which was kind of hot at first, but then she did get tired of that after a while Of just feeling ignored, of just feeling ignored. And, yeah, and Lucius caught feelings. Yeah, you never know when that's going to happen.
Speaker 1:Lucius left his wife with the intention of being with Suzanne and they didn't talk about it beforehand. Suzanne would not in a million years want to be with Lucius. And yeah, they found out quickly that it wasn't a public thing. But if you tangled with somebody from the warrior class it was going to result in a duel. And, yeah, lucius won that easily. It was a laugher, it was a rout. Yeah, they didn't even let people look at Ryan's body. That's how bad it was.
Speaker 1:And Suzanne was heartbroken and she hated Lucius at this point. It was always kind of hate sex from the beginning, which can be a wonderful kind of sex, but she didn't want to marry him and she didn't know what the hell to do now that she was stuck in this life. She didn't want, like she got to hang out on the shore with the warrior class in the castles and go to nice restaurants every weekend and she just loathed every second of it like this is not for me. This is not who I am. I don't love this guy. I don't know how I feel about myself anymore. Yeah, she says to this day that this is the worst time of her life and she's just aching for Ryan, like his absence is just such a void. Yeah, she really got to know him, which was, by all accounts, not easily done. They really clicked, yeah.
Speaker 1:So what happened was she kind of vaguely knew some of Ryan's old underworld connections and one of them was this guy named Spike and it's pretty much what you would picture. Just, you know, tattoos, motorcycle, yeah, like central casting all the way, big mutton chop sideburns, central casting, all the way, big muttonchop sideburns Kind of a nemesis of the warrior class, because he was the one underworld guy that they just wouldn't you know, anybody that messed around with him was probably in trouble. So they just tried to stay out of his way and he and Suzanne kind of started a thing, suzanne kind of started a thing, and they both tangled with Lucius in the past and they ended up setting him up Like Suzanne told Lucius that she was going to put one over on Spike and asked him if he wanted to get involved. And of course at first he was like no, because he had too much to lose being in the warrior class. But then he started thinking and feeling how much he hated Lucius and was like maybe this isn't such a bad idea. He hated Lucius and was like maybe this isn't such a bad idea. And so they got a scheme together where Lucius was going to get the drop on Spike. That was the idea. And of course Spike knew exactly what was coming.
Speaker 1:And Lucius was not good at this. No, he was not slick, because he had been part of this warrior group his whole life. He never had to do anything for himself. Really, yeah, they. No, he survived. He got beaten pretty badly. I would not wish that beating. I would wish it on maybe my three worst enemies, not the fourth. It was bad, but you know, suzanne wasn't really mad about it because she'd had enough of Lucius at that point.
Speaker 1:And they decamped for another place which seemed to have a warrior class of its own. But that was an illusion, because this was a city run by tricksters. And Spike immediately fell in with the Potemkin warrior class Because that's kind of always what he wanted. The whole rebel outlaw schtick was always out of spite. Yeah, he always wanted to be a warrior. And now he had his chance.
Speaker 1:And what he discovered was that every now and then the warrior class would be sent off on some kind of mission. And yeah, they would just get lost. Now they wouldn't like it wasn't like alive, they wouldn't put them out somewhere. No, they just. There were so many side quests and like it was such a weird puzzle. It was like an alternative reality game disguised as a military mission. No, I mean, they never came back. That was the whole point.
Speaker 1:And yeah, there were two warriors who, yeah, because she was single and she didn't know the tricksters, because the tricksters would lose a lot of their leverage if people knew what was up. So they kind of kept to themselves. But they saw everything. They knew everything that was going on. Nothing got past them and they loved Suzanne, because how could you not? Because how could you not? And so they saw, when two of the quote-unquote warriors decided to stage a duel for Suzanne's hand in marriage, one of the tricksters came down in the form of a coyote. Like they do Not very subtle. The tricksters were kind of cocky. Yeah, they wasn't Coming down as a bedbug would have been more subtle and creative, but it was a quick, fly-by-night thing. They came down. One of them came down and told Suzanne, like look, just let the duel happen, encourage it or, you know, act like you're. I say like why are you fighting over me? Why can't you be friends? And that's just going to encourage them more because they're going to see you're a wonderful person and that's going to make them hate each other even more, because that's what they do.
Speaker 1:The duel came to pass and, as it was happening, ryan showed up. Yeah, he had survived barely survived his injuries, and he went into the woods and he lived off of berries and wood chips and dirt and creek water for months, like the whole time through the whole Lucius episode, and Suzanne decamped post-haste with Ryan. They got out of there and, yeah, it didn't work out in the end. It's they just their lives bifurcated. They realized that they will always love each other and that's not always enough. Just because you love somebody, it doesn't mean you can live with them and it definitely doesn't mean you can live with them for the rest of your life, especially if you're the kind of people that realize that change is to be embraced. Yeah, like that's one hyper-intellectual, kinda high-strung weirdo, and Suzanne who's?
Speaker 2:in her own category.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so they had an amicable they didn't even need to go to court or anything because she's still technically married to Lucius. Yeah, I don't know what happened there. Yeah, he's still alive. Nobody knows where he is. He's lost on some interminable side quest, one can assume.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, if you ever get a chance to just hang out with Suzanne. No, you can't. If you ask her. She doesn't take requests. Just talk about things that you're interested in and she will have a story that's related and it's going to be buck wild. Yeah, suzanne is a sleeper, she's seen some stuff and a wonderful person. You could not ask for a bigger sweetheart, warm and fuzzy, center of the universe. That's what I didn't come up with, that Somebody else did, but that's like the best review. Yeah, suzanne is the bomb. I'd marry her too.
Speaker 1:Dot com on K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM. K-chung Radio. Dot O-R-G. I am Emerson Dameron, the producer and host of the show. I love you personally. Levity saves lives. Take a beat, breathe into the experience of being here and ask yourself what am I so afraid of? Maybe you're afraid of missing some essential life experience. You're afraid you already have, or that it doesn't matter because nothing does. Maybe it's nothing, maybe you're just a regular nerves McGee, or maybe you're afraid of your own glorious cataclysmic power, the riotous multitudes you contain. You are smart enough to know how nearly infinitely ignorant you are, but you're not too smart to be hot and you may already be a satanic Buddhist. Nothing is good or bad in isolation, only in context. The Buddha and the Beastmaster are a good team. This, right here, is all you get. Life is for living up down across, diagonally, sideways, because nothing matters. You may already be a satanic Buddhist.
