Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes
LA’s #1 avant-garde personal development program. I'm Emerson Dameron. I love you, personally. Levity saves lives.
The home of Ask a Sadist, Bite-Sized Erotic Thrillers, and the First Church of the Satanic Buddha. Levity saves lives.
Regularly scheduled episodes premiere on the first Wednesday of the month on KCHUNG Los Angeles.
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes
You're the Best and You're Here to Help
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is the #1 avant-garde personal development program in Los Angeles. Get your fill of cynical life advice—our holiday gift to you, the only person who matters.
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is a production of KCHUNG. Written, performed, produced, and created by Emerson Dameron, who is solely responsible for its content. Take me to court.
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Speaker 1:Magic Mind, proud sponsor of LA's number one avant-garde personal development program, emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, already in progress. This is K-Chung, los Angeles 1630 AM. Kchungradioorg. More specifically, you're listening to Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes medicated-minutescom. I'm Emerson Dameron, I'm the host of the show, but not the biggest star in the firmament that would be you. This is LA's number one avant-garde personal development program and I am here with a reminder specifically for you, and it's not necessarily a friendly reminder. I'm going to get in your face about this. I'm going to make sure that it gets through to you one way or another.
Speaker 1:The message is you are the best and it's nobody else's business. You don't have to talk about being the best. You don't have to compete because you're in your own echelon, your own category. You are the best. Don't sweat it. If you don't believe that you are the best, it doesn't really matter, because you are, but it helps if you believe that, so you can go ahead and cultivate the habit of believing that you're the best. The best way to cultivate a habit is to know that the worst part of cultivating a habit is the first part of cultivating a habit. So, for an hour a day every day for the next 90 days, just focus on being the best. Listen to your own instincts, listen to what your body says. Yes, to Cut off all the BS from the outside, and when you get to know yourself well enough, you'll know that you're the best, and then you won't have to sweat it anymore. It's like breathing. You don't have to constantly think about breathing. You don't have to brag about it. You don't have to worry about other people and their breathing. You don't have to brag about it. You don't have to worry about other people and their breathing. I don't know, unless you're into that, in which case go for it. But you're just automatically the best. You're so used to it that it doesn't even register and you can focus instead on building other habits that buttress your bestness. You can adopt a growth mindset.
Speaker 1:Just because you're the best doesn't mean you don't have to question yourself and you can't get better and learn and grow, because if you can't do that, this all kind of feels like a miserable waste of time. If you ask me, now you can project confidence and be strong and defend your ideas. You don't have to cave every time somebody disagrees with you or criticizes you, and you'll probably see it coming, because you are your own most astute critic as well as your own biggest fan and your manager and your most tender and understanding lover. But you're always willing to learn, even if you're not always talking about it. It's a growth mindset in the back office and maybe a little bit of fixed mindset. A fixed mindset, Stubbornness, expecting, demanding respect for your boundaries that's what you need in the conference room, and relationships are really paramount. In order to be the best at the best of your ability of being the best, you should surround yourself with other people who are themselves the best. That's the most important habit you can develop toward being the best. And then get out there. Don't be afraid to advertise. Opportunity is not going to hunt you down. Too many distractions, too much going on. You got to make yourself evident and apparent and let it be known that you're the best and you're here to help. And you prepared your mind, your heart, your physical body. You put the work in and you're continuing to put the work in because you're ready to meet some pretty swell opportunities today and even better opportunities tomorrow.
Speaker 1:I think not being messed up all the time is good if you want to stay the best. The Buddhists say no intoxication to the point of heedlessness. I would say it's more fun to get high if you're celebrating something. Don't get high to avoid life. Get high to enjoy and embrace life and celebrate the wins and celebrate failure, because there's nothing wrong with something not coming through. It just means it wasn't right. And in order for something to happen, there's nothing wrong with something not coming through. It just means it wasn't right. And in order for something to happen, a whole lot of other things have to not happen. So when something doesn't connect the way that you hoped it would, you can mourn your losses and be sad, but just know that that had to be cleared out to make room for whatever else is coming and things come back around. The world is small. Life is long. You'll be surprised at the people you see again and the opportunities to re-engage with opportunities that didn't work out in the past, and you will also be glad that you treated people well, which I assume you're already doing. We don't have dummies listening to this show. We don't have dummies listening to this show. If you alienate, humiliate people, use them as punching bags, they're going to remember that longer than you will and you're probably going to encounter them again and at best you're going to create the kind of world that you don't really want to live in, the kind of world that is not that good, because people are afraid to be the best and as the best, you must lead by example.
Speaker 1:This has been Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, medicated-minutescom. I'm Emerson Dameron. I'm the producer, writer, director, host, everything pretty much on Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, a production of K-Chung, los Angeles, kchungradioorg 1630 AM. Levity saves lives. My name is Emerson Penn Dameron III and if you are a long-haul listener to Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, one of the ride-or-die true players, you already have a lot more information about me than most of the people I know personally. But if you're new and we do have a consistent, steady influx of new listeners I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself.
Speaker 1:My humor is exquisite, some of it is niche, but it has sometimes a delayed reaction effect where you'll be thinking about it for a while afterward and then you'll start laughing and people around you will not know what you're laughing about and you will be loathe to explain it to them because you don't have the necessary context and you don't have my delivery. I know how to tell it. I'm a competitive storyteller. I've won Story Smash and I've won other contests for my ability to spin a yarn in a compelling and funny way. I am a patient and passionate lover, as perhaps some of you are fortunate to know.
Speaker 1:I'm a provider of cascading orgasms just for the sheer joy of doing it, and I'll just sit around and talk to you and listen to your problems and your stories, just for the sheer joy of getting to know you. And that's the other side is when I really click with someone, I go all in and it's super intense and you're usually talking about two super intense people and there's some friction and fireworks are bound to result. But we can go deep and we can go dirty, because when we really get together in that special way, I trust you and I give you every reason to trust me, at least in that space. And I'm more of a tough bastard than I sometimes get credit for. I've been known to be vulnerable and have feelings and sometimes expose myself to ridicule or speak with self-immolating, self-destructive candor. It takes courage and humanity to bleed blood red the way that I do.
Speaker 1:I am Emerson Dameron and I deserve to be selfish, and if you're a listener to Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, I think that you deserve to be selfish as well, and I'm going to give you permission to be as selfish as you want, to the maximum of selfishness. Maximum of selfishness to indulge yourself thoroughly, fully, for the next two weeks. Indulge yourself and figure out what you really want. Experiment with things that you might want. Some of them are going to be dead ends. There's help out there and there's pleasure and freeze on and ecstasy. It's not always in the first place. You look you got to keep looking but you will find things that you truly resonate with, not things that you think you're supposed to want, not things that people around you want or things that people want you to want. You will figure out what you want and your life will get much more spicy after that. Part of that is just recognizing what your body says yes to.
Speaker 1:I would override my body's yeses and no's, and I got a lot of no's. When I was a kid. I was squeamish, I was shy, I was sensitive. I tried to toughen myself up by overriding the no's and doing things on dares, or just to show that I could, or just to toughen myself up that I really didn't want to do and that weren't fun and that were satisfying, to then later have as an anecdote and look back on and be glad that I survived. But I did a lot of stuff I didn't really want to do and some of it shook me up and I, worst of all, lost trust in myself, in my body's signals to myself yeses and nos, maybes, emphatic yeses, etc. And I lost trust in me, the person who's making the decisions. Based on that information, based on how many times I had gone against what my body wanted, against what my body wanted, the lines of communication were chewed in half as by a kitten and I wasn't in touch with myself or what I wanted or what I needed.
Speaker 1:That's what you got to do in your two weeks of selfishness is to sit down, tune in, do some embodied meditation practice or yoga or physical exercise of some kind. Go swimming I like swimming in the Pacific Ocean. Any body of water will do. Take a bath with Epsom salts. Get in a sensory deprivation flotation tank. Figure out what you physically respond to on a visceral level that you cannot deny, what you really want, what you really don't want, what you want to cut out of your life, the malign influences, the stuff that grosses you out. You don't have to do that anymore. This is your life now.
Speaker 1:So establish and defend your boundaries. It is one thing to set a boundary. It is another thing to then defend it. When somebody drives a tank right through it, which is the kind of thing that people violate your boundaries will do, some people will respect it. Sometimes it's just they didn't know. You had to let them know who you are and what you stand for and what you will and will not accept. And that's why selfishness is in some ways the ultimate act of generosity, because you're letting people know who you really are. And if they don't know that, if you're just a people pleaser and you just go along with the crowd and consensus and what you think people want from you, they don't know who the hell you are. That's scary for them. They can't rely on you. You could do anything if things go down because they don't know who you are or what your real values are or what you will not put up with. So let people know you're doing them a favor. If they can't take it, then they can GTFO. But you will then at least know that you have established that sorting mechanism of enforcing your personal boundaries and your own values and you will sort out people who can't handle that and sort in people who are simpatico or at least respect who you are and what you're about and want to be around.
Speaker 1:That Cut out the self-deprecating humor. That's been a tough one for me. I think I may have done it already in this segment. It's just kind of a go-to and I do think that self-mockery is the foundation of an inconquerable ego, as the writer Jeff Kwan put it. And if you can't make fun of yourself, you kind of forfeit the right to make fun of others. It's part of being self-aware. But if it's a consistent thing where you're putting yourself down and kind of denying your own power and agency and presenting yourself as a loser, eventually it's like you're not really joking, You're kidding on the square and yeah, you've got to take a break from that.
Speaker 1:Make some jokes about how awesome you are, make some advertisements for yourself, do an ad campaign for how you're the best, because you are the best at what you do, which is being yourself. And that brings us to mythologize yourself. Just make it, you know. Put your story in the structure of the hero's journey. Make yourself the hero of your own story or a helpful wizard. That's kind of what I like to do. I'm there to counsel the heroes and punch up their jokes and be a mentor and an elder statesman.
Speaker 1:But regardless, make up stories about yourself and glorify yourself. Mythologize yourself. You don't even have to make things up when you really think about your life and what you've been through and what you've had to deal with and what you've overcome and the fact that you're still here doing it, listening to Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes like a winner, because it's LA's number one avant-garde personal development program. So if you're a creative bohemian type who also wants to work on yourself, you're in the right place and you're part of the elite and you should feel good about yourself. So glorify yourself, enjoy being yourself. Get a custom cake with a mantra or affirmation Testament to your own excellence or affirmation testament to your own excellence.
Speaker 1:People will respect you more if you push back a little bit. Some people want to be treated poorly. Most people don't go around advertising that, but if you look at their behavior it's kind of obvious you don't really want to get sucked into that because, uh, those people's lives are quick sand. So, yeah, don't like. I mean, if somebody gets off on it and it's consenting adults and and it's enthusiastic consent and you're talking about a hot, kinky relationship, I say go for it. Those are some of the best. But. But if it's somebody that's in denial about their own masochism, I would give them a wide berth. But generally, if you push back and defend your ideas and show up as yourself and don't take disrespect, and show up as yourself and don't take disrespect, people will respect you Because they won't have a choice. It's that or get out. So reward first class treatment People treat you well, make sure they feel good about it and punish second class treatment and below. Don't be afraid to ice people out. Don't think that because someone thinks they can get away with being unpleasant or mean to you that they have some kind of leverage that they're better. Just move on.
Speaker 1:As difficult as it may be, examine what it is that keeps you in those dynamics and work with that and use that if you can. But whatever it takes. Get out. Do not tolerate cruelty. Definisrate your bully over the next week or just do it first, because then you can really enjoy your week of selfishness in which you will make self-indulgent art for yourself.
Speaker 1:If you're an artist or you have a creative practice, or you're a banker or architect, do something that you love. That's just for you. That's pure self-indulgence. Never show it to anybody, or maybe you can, but it's just for you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it. It's just a thing of the sort of beauty that you appreciate, and it doesn't matter if anyone else does Love yourself in the places where they hurt you.
Speaker 1:That's a tricky one. I've heard over and over again that I'm supposed to love myself. I'm still working on it. I have moments. It's not my default behavior. It's something I have to do consciously. I have to correct my negative self-talk. I have to push back against that which is good practice for pushing against the other bullies in my life. I have to take on my internal drill sergeant and tell him to back up, and so get in the habit of doing that. If you're like me and you have an internal monologue, that will not give you a break. And if anyone else talked to you like that, you would get a restraining order. Talk to you like that, you would get a restraining order.
Speaker 1:Push back. That's good practice for pushing back on the other bullies and assholes in your life and genuinely support the people around you through an honest presentation of yourself, through your selfishness, through letting them know who you are and taking care of your own needs so they don't have to necessarily, and then showing up with full presence and confidence in who you are, which you will learn over the course of being selfish. I say it's for two weeks, but that's just for starters. I think you're going to like it. I think you're going to do it for a couple of months and the confidence will develop, you'll see. And that will allow you to be genuinely generous. Practice reciprocity now Give people what they give you, don't be afraid to give it back. And generosity later, when you cut some of the bullies out of your life and scumbags that you can't trust, you will find many more people in your area who deserve to be treated like the wonderful, loyal, richly intelligent human beings that they are and you can give them back all of the value that they give you.
Speaker 1:And another thing to do on your first two weeks of selfishness is get really good at masturbation, because that's an easy way to love yourself and sometimes people are in a hurry when they do it or they just have routines and it's kind of unsatisfying. It's just like a habit, like smoking a cigarette or watching bad television because you don't know what else to do. Get really creative with jerking off, even if you don't really get off at first. Just get to know yourself on a physical level. Practice mindful masturbation. You can work that out. That's from Jessica Graham's book Good Sex how to get off without checking out. And get really good at that and make sweet, sweet love to yourself, and then you will become the patient and passionate lover that you long to be, that people long for, and you will lead by example.
Speaker 1:As a listener of Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes and thus part of the cultural vanguard and the next wave of whatever it is that you represent, I'm not going to tell you what to do. I'm going to tell you to do it well and to the best of your ability and to be a source of light and heat and action in the world. K-chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM. Kchungradioorg. This is Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, medicated-minutescom.
Speaker 1:I am Emerson Dameron, the producer, writer, director, host and witty, wounded romantic hero of Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes. Scratch a witty cynic and you'll get a wounded romantic. And that is very true of me. And levity saves lives. Sometimes I do get stuck on the past. I try to ask myself what's funny about this. How can levity save my life retroactively and what can I learn from this? How can I improve in the future as a result of these experiences and my insights as I integrate them? Because I do like to take responsibility for as much of my life as I can. I don't think that everything is my fault, but it's an interesting thought experiment sometimes. What if I am responsible for everything? What if I am the architect and auteur of my own experience? How do I handle that responsibility? To what extent is that true If I behave as if it's true? What happens? You may be listening to this live on K-Chung.
Speaker 1:That happens every first Wednesday of the month at seven o'clock Pacific. We convene to talk. At 7 o'clock Pacific we convene to talk sex, drugs, power, psychology, philosophy, self-help, satanic, buddhism and much more. Sometimes we do a feature called Ask a Sadist. You're always in good shape with a sadist on your side and we have miniature erotic thrillers on your side and we have miniature erotic thrillers short, 10 to 15 minute, sometimes 60 to 90 second. Those are bite-sized erotic thrillers but they're all well under the 90 minute mark. The stylish and titillating and often ridiculous erotic thrillers from the 80s and 90s that were covered on you Must Remember this and have been having a bit of a renaissance lately. The work of Brian De Palma and Adrian Lyne, crimes of Passion, nine and a Half Weeks Cinematic Masterpieces those are my inspiration. You can catch those on the show, but it's really about you. You can catch those on the show, but it's really about you.
Speaker 1:The most interesting topic in the world, and you may be listening live. You may be listening asynchronously via the podcast through medicated-minutescom or wherever you consume your podcasts. We're on Spotify and Apple Music, podchaser, pocket Casts, podfriend, all the good ones. I think there are a few episodes on SoundCloud, but the point is, this might be light from a dead star, this might be a broadcast from the past, but you are in the present Because, even if you don't want to be, even if you insist on living in the past or the future, the present is the only place where anything worthwhile is happening and it behooves you to bring yourself back to the present.
Speaker 1:There are some advantages of thinking into the future If you're thinking strategically and cautiously, not necessarily optimistic. Enthusiasm is good, and enthusiasm combined with pessimism is a killer combination. Because if you enthusiastically walk in, knowing the worst that could happen and being prepared for it and going over every detail and listening to any weird feeling that you have that something might be off, and double checking your work, you're in good shape. So you don't necessarily have to be optimistic. Be realistic, know what you're getting into, but don't focus too much on the future Because it's not promised. There's all kinds of risk. In Los Angeles there are so many glorious ways to die. It could happen at any time. The big one could hit us, we could all go down, there could be a tsunami, tidal wave, all kinds of things could happen. So be prepared for the future, because it's a good chance that we're all going to live a little bit longer, probably at least to the end of this show.
Speaker 1:But the present is where the action is and you want to repeat to yourself the past is dead, the past is dead, the past is dead, the past is dead, the past is dead. The past is dead. The past is dead. The past is dead. The past is dead. The past is dead. The past is dead. The past is dead. The past is dead. The past is dead.
Speaker 1:As many times as it takes, as many times as it takes to short circuit your negative talk to yourself about what happened in the past, how you screwed it up, how you feel guilty. Let it go. It's over and done with. If you probably already apologized, if you've apologized a lot, you need to apologize for that, because really you just need to apologize once. People are either going to forgive you or they're not. If it's a meaningful and sincere apology, that'll probably get through to them at some level. If they don't want to hear from you, leave them alone. Regardless, get on with your life.
Speaker 1:Getting stuck in the past will make you miss out on the opportunities and indeed the challenges and hazards of the present, and a lot of times it's easy to get stuck in the past when something painful happened in the relatively recent past, which could be 20 years ago, depending on how painful it was, but it's usually something like, in my experience, a breakup that happened within the last year or so. That brings me down and it's put me in dark and dangerous places. Apparently it kind of helped kill Anthony Bourdain. So it can be a not good, not safe space to be in and one can get addicted to certain kinds of suffering, mental anguish. I have a looping internal monologue that can be downright abusive. If anyone else talked to me the way that I sometimes talk to myself, I would get a restraining order and a large dog and a ring system. But it's just me and I tell myself that I'm not doing any harm if I take my anger out on myself. That's not true. I'm hurting everyone in my life by proxy. I'm hurting myself. I'm missing out on good things, interesting things, challenging things, things that need my attention, that are going on here and now, and if you have the same issue with getting wrapped around the axle of stuff that's happened, I'm sure.
Speaker 1:Breakups are hard for everybody. I went through a divorce recently. That was less than a year ago. I still still have open wounds from that. I totally get it like you have to mourn those losses and there that comes with grief and regret and anger.
Speaker 1:But uh, you could, it's, it is possible to get addicted to that, like what is familiar, is safe and that can be. It can be easier to stay in what's safe and familiar note the similarity to the word family there than it is, or seems to be, to get out of that and do something dangerous. But that provides the opportunity for a new experience. I would switch addictions. I would say if you're addicted to suffering and misery and self-recrimination and guilt over a breakup, try sex addiction Just for a while. It's probably not going to solve your problems. You may be unhappy. A lot of people are sex addicts and they don't seem to enjoy it that much. But find out for yourself. Don't take their word for it. Give it a shot. It'll be different from, it'll be very different on the other side of the spectrum from your current experience, and you can do it. Many dumber and uglier people have pulled it off.
Speaker 1:All you have to do is get out there and be proactive and prepare and then put yourself in the way of opportunity and get in the mix and know that it's an honor and a pleasure for anyone to spend time with you as a listener of Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes. You are one of the elite and you are always self-developing. This is LA's number one avant-garde self-development program. So that means, even if you don't get the jokes, it makes you sophisticated to listen to it and you're always bettering yourself and exploring the most fascinating topic in the world, which is you, and it is helping you through inspiration and motivation of the sort that has helped countless listeners in Los Angeles and beyond. I don't know how many, that's hence countless. I think it's a lot.
Speaker 1:You are partaking of that, and what I want you to do is condition yourself on a daily basis. Give this an hour a day for 90 days. Condition yourself through mantras, meditation, exercise, hit a bag, get a punching bag in your place, whatever it is that gets the lightning bolts coursing through your nervous system. Do that and condition yourself to be extremely aggressive in going after what you want in life. If you need to get to know yourself, to determine what you really want, do that first. Make a list of things that you want, and then things that you wish that you didn't want and things that you don't want people to know that. You want Things that you wouldn't want me to know that you want. Make a list of those and start to figure out what you want, not what you're supposed to want, not what other people want you to want what you really want, what your body says. Yes, to Bring yourself into the present and you can start making a plan to get what you want, but you've got to be here to do that. Perfect attendance in the present is the goal.
Speaker 1:Guilt is a waste of time. No complaining unless it's entertaining. See how close you can get that to zero If you put the rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time you hear yourself complaining. That's a good idea. You can't change what already happened. Replaying past mistakes over and over again will take you into dark, dark territory. Your brain thinks that it's solving problems. That's what it thinks it's doing when it's ruminating, because it's very stupid and it needs some guidance from your higher intelligence so that you don't end up getting addicted to mental anguish and getting so familiar with that that it's what you know and it's scary to leave. Before that happens, start making a deal with your brain to come back here now and start getting what you want. Get serious about that and get irreverent about it. Make it fun. Don't take it too seriously. Take it seriously and don't take it seriously. The all-in, balls-to-the-wall, all-out and all in simultaneously. See if you can pull that off. That'll show them. Just get in there and get out there and bring yourself back here now to the present, because it's the only place where anything worthwhile is happening.
Speaker 1:This is Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes. This is worthwhile and this is happening right now. And stay tuned. There's good stuff in the future. There's good stuff in the past. You can listen to the old episodes at medicated-minutescom, but right now we've got bigger things to do in the present. We're going to catch the big fish. I don't know if we're going to fry it. We might just hang out and see what it has to say.
Speaker 1:If you are underwater and you're breathing easily underwater without a diving suit, you're probably having a dream. So if you see a big fish in that context, do what you do. If you realize that you're dreaming but you're still in the dream, which is to ask the dream characters if they have gifts for you. If you can remember to do that, that's rare and beautiful. If you have that opportunity, that flash of lucidity to be able to do that, if you see the big fish and you're deep on the ocean floor, you're probably dreaming. So ask the big fish what gifts it has for you, what wisdom it has to impart and then pay attention, listen and sleep on it. Continue. You're already sleeping on it. Wake up on it. Think about it the next morning. Write it down. If you don't write it down right away, you're probably going to lose it.
Speaker 1:I'm starting to think dream recall is very important. I have always believed that meditation is not just an acute affectation for people who live in Santa Monica and do yoga. I think it's absolutely necessary for dealing with the avalanche of information that we have to deal with in the modern age. I think it's the one way to keep from losing your mind. But I think dream recall is huge in terms of figuring out your own bigger story and the meaning in your life. I have to make meaning in my life. I don't have kids, so I don't have that to fall back on and you can also make meaning in your life and have kids. You're going to have long days and be very tired, but you can do it. I've seen it done. If you want to do that, join me and pay attention to your dreams as you're having them in the present and then write them down and see how that pans out over the course of the next day and also when you think about the dream, make a plan of action, think about how am I going to apply this to my life and think about that.
Speaker 1:With all the knowledge you pick up, you don't need to read the news if it's not news you can use. It's important to kind of have a bigger idea of what's going on in the world and put things in context. And it can be cocktail party conversation, but you know what. It can be cocktail party conversation, but you know what's really good cocktail party conversation Letting people know that you're kicking ass in the world and running laps around the competition. And the way you do that is to apply the things that you learn. That's what we're about on Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes. We're going to give you the tools of self-inquiry and exploration and experiments. So the world will be your laboratory and you can try it and see what happens. If I had kids, that's the advice I would give them. I'm not going to have them, so I'm giving it to you.
Speaker 1:Life isn't short or long necessarily. It's both. It's very much both. It depends on how you spend your time, how you feel it go by and one way to stretch it out and make sure that you have all the time you need to do. Everything that you want is to vary up your experiences. Make sure you're always doing new things. That's why you do the word puzzles and take different routes home from work. When you can change it up, get some variety. Go to restaurants you've never been to Walk around parts of town you're unfamiliar with. Find an interesting place and then explore the area around it. Always be finding out about new stuff, because that's how you keep your mind alive.
Speaker 1:And part of how you do that is you don't get stuck in habits and routines. Rituals are good psychologically. We need those is how I see it, and we've lost a lot of that with the decline of organized religion. It gets replaced in other ways, unfortunately. Those include things like appointment viewing and bad habits, those masturbation rituals. We're not really getting much out of any more figurative or literal masturbation in this case, any more figurative or literal masturbation in this case.
Speaker 1:So you want to always be just breaking your habits, just out of habit. Make a habit of breaking your habits and always be ready to walk away. Be ready to bounce at a moment's notice when you go in if things aren't going your way, just GTFO immediately Turn around and get out of there. Don't look back. You won't regret it. It's just not going to matter and you're going to get good at assessing the situation and doing what's right for you and a lot of times that's a swift kick in the ass for somebody, or you just get out of there. A lot of times, a swift kick in the ass is somebody, or you just get out of there. A lot of times a swift kick in the ass is the most compassionate thing you can do for somebody, but maybe they don't deserve that. Nine times out of ten you can't go wrong treating people like garbage, because people love to suffer. They won't tell you that usually Outside of kink spaces and dirty chat conversations, but if you could see it, if you pay attention to their behavior, sometimes you don't even want to do them a favor.
Speaker 1:There's a joke. The masochist says beat me and the sadist says no. I kind of hear the sadist saying that in the voice of James Hetfield, metallica fame. That's just how I hear it. Point is just bounce. You don't have to punish, just get out. If it's not going your way, if you're not getting treated well, if it's anything that's not first-class treatment we're talking second-class and below just bounce, always be ready to bounce, always be going, get good at saying goodbyes and have boundaries.
Speaker 1:Well, having boundaries is one thing. You can take out your journal, or maybe you're doing your morning pages exercise and you can write down all the stuff that is important to you and the ways that you don't want to have your trust abused and be violated, and you can have those in your mind and you can even express them to people. But what the real test comes in conflict? That's when you define what really matters to you. And if being liked by someone who's not treating you that well is more important than your boundaries, I'm going to tell you that your boundaries are crumbling down. That person that's giving you static is going to be like the Kool-Aid mascot, going right through your flimsy boundaries. So what it really comes down to what's really important if you want to take care of yourself, you've got to defend your boundaries. I would put the boundary even a little, make it a little bit more dramatic than you think you even need. Like when you're making a deal, you come in with a high number because you're starting a negotiation here. If the other person just goes with it, then you got a good deal.
Speaker 1:But what I'm saying is give yourself plenty of room inside of your boundaries. Inside of your boundaries and make people respect it by showing them that you're like come at me if you want to transgress my boundaries. I'm not going to make it easy for you. You might regret it. So just know that. And then, when they do, you got to call them out. You got to let them know that that's not going to fly with you, it's not going to happen again. And you punish that kind of behavior. You don't reward it with attention or trying to fix the problem or make that person feel better To stop treating you like garbage. You punish that. You ice them out or you tell them what's really going on. You name the game, read Games People Play by Eric Byrne. That's from the 1950s, I think, way before all of this talk of narcissism. You can learn a lot about how people manipulate each other, sometimes without even knowing it. So if somebody's screwing around with your boundaries, be willing to call them out and you already know what's up because you have your agenda ready to go.
Speaker 1:When you go into a situation, it is important to know what you want, know who you are coming in, what you represent, what you plan to get out of it, what's valuable about it to you, like why you're even hanging out in this area. Because you know you wouldn't be doing this if you didn't want to get something out of it. And maybe in the past you haven't always known out of it and maybe in the past you haven't always known. Sometimes we don't want to acknowledge what we really want, but those desires drive us nonetheless, the unconscious parts of ourselves, where much of our intelligence lies, so they haven't been soaked through with the poison poison of society, of shame, conformity. You could find truth in there and power, and that's where that power comes from. When it feels like you're just guided by some force, it behooves you to know what. That is well enough to know, going in, what your agenda is, so you can frame the discussion. So you'll find people with their own agendas, and sometimes those agendas will be compatible with yours, and that's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1:That's what we call collaboration, and that's one of my favorite ways to engage with other human beings. I love artistic collaborations and creative work together. I've fallen in love with people that way. I did improv. That was one of the things that I wish I'd done way earlier. I'm never going to have kids, but if I did, they would learn Spanish and take improv as soon as possible possible, because that did more to get me out of my shell and get me working with other people and really understand social dynamics and how status works and how power in the context of social situations where you know violence is not on the table and there's nobody's going to use the force of the state against each other or do any of the obvious dumb stuff like that. So they have to be slick about it and you can see how that works, and then you'll know how important it is to come in and know what you stand for, what you represent, what you hope to achieve, because if you don't know what that is, it's going to be harder to do it. You're going to have to walk into it.
Speaker 1:Sometimes that happens you don't want to count on it and a lot of times the people you're dealing with don't really have their own agendas. They don't know what they are and they're waiting for someone to tell them what to do. A lot of times you just tell people what to do. They'll just do it. That's the easiest thing to do. A lot of times you just tell people what to do. They'll just do it. That's the easiest thing to do. They're conflict diverse. Most people are to one extent or another. Why not give it a shot? Tell them what to do. It's for their own good. People like to suffer. If you leave them to their own devices, they're going to screw it up for themselves. So know what you want and know how to get it. And knowing what you want is really crucial and paramount, and the first thing you should do it's the most important thing you got in that manila folder that contains your agenda. It's just knowing your goal, and that can come from visualizing it.
Speaker 1:I think there's an NLP which doesn't have a lot of scientific backing, but science is always changing and I think that stuff is fascinating and I've seen people have massive breakthroughs with it and I think it's just as a dork when it comes to language. I just can't get enough of that stuff. But there's the assumption that people are broken down into visual, auditory or kinesthetic as the dominant modality of how they perceive the world. I would say I'm more on the kinesthetic side, or no, I would definitely. I kind of want to get on the kinesthetic side. That would be nice. I don't get enough of that. I love physical touch. That's the thing that I haven't always identified with. I've been touch-hungry much of my life. That was an interesting Freudian slit. Maybe I am intelligent kinesthetically no, I can find a sexy little test subject to try that out on. But now, historically, I'm more of an auditory person. I like music and language and sound, and some people are visual people with nice aesthetic sensibilities, real sense of style. I love dating women that have killer stylistic inclinations and can help me dress myself, because I'm not so good at that on my own. I can talk a good game, but that's not. That only goes so far.
Speaker 1:When, uh, when you're dressed up like you don't know what the hell you're doing, like you've been doing some kind of heavy duty psychedelics for the last few months and you don't know which way is up or what your name is and you're wearing my oversized burgundy pants. I have one cool pair of red purple jeans and then this big fat ass hammer pants Dark red burgundy pair of pants. I remember I was doing a show one time. I tried to grab the jeans, which fit pretty nicely. I grabbed the big baggy burgundy boys instead and I looked like shit doing that show, people said, yeah, it's the first time You've been losing weight for a while and that's starting to get a little unsightly. But wearing those oversized pants, yeah, that's when I knew Know what you want and then learn how to get it.
Speaker 1:Figure out how to get it, figure out how to get other people to help you get it and do a lot of the work of getting it for you, because you don't really have to work hard if you know how to put other people to work. It's the real American dream and there's no reason you can't do that. You're definitely smart enough. You know what's up enough. You know what's up. You got charm, skills, charisma and you're willing to walk away from friendships or relationships or jobs, things that might seem like opportunities, things you feel like you have to say yes to because you're afraid of what's going to happen if you say no, you're going to alienate somebody, you're not going to have enough money. You're going to happen if you say no, you're going to alienate somebody, you're not going to have enough money, you're going to regret not taking that crap job because you don't. You can't find anything else because the interest rates are up and the economy is bad. But what? What you will have still and what's more valuable than any of that stuff I would say even more valuable than a roof over your head.
Speaker 1:You have walking away power Because you know, you've seen it. You've seen yourself in action, 86ing relationships that don't serve you. You have assessed the situation and done what's right for you and gotten the hell out of there. Not a minute too soon, hopefully not too late. Don't wait around for the damage to be done. If you get a funny feeling, you can walk away. You have my permission Now that you need it. You already know you have the walking away power. You're the man, you're the woman. You're the person. You're the man, you're the woman. You're the person, you're the animal, you're the plant. You've got swagger. If you're listening to this show, you know what's up. You're doing the work, you're improving yourself and you're doing it in a stylish and sophisticated way, with jokes that not everybody gets way, with jokes that not everybody gets.
Speaker 1:So you can handle extricating yourself from a situation that's not doing you any good. Maybe not anymore, maybe it never was, maybe you just read it wrong on the first pass. No shame in that. That's how we learn. Even if you get hurt, that's guarantees that you're going to remember it next time. So no permanent damage done. Just know when to hold them, know when to fold them and then when you fold them, I would say, err on the side of folding them, because most situations you can do better and then walk away. And if you're not getting out of there fast enough, then run. And if somebody gets mad, maybe they'll start a smear campaign against you and try to tarnish your reputation. That'll just make you seem like a badass. You'll probably end up sleeping with much hotter people than you ever thought possible.
Speaker 1:You have a reputation as a troublemaker and a rebel. That's one thing. People need that energy in their lives. They're not motivated internally. They don't really know who they are or what they want. That's very common and it's because it's hard work to figure that out. Most people don't want to do that. Most people keep themselves busy with BS. They do out of habit, out of a sense of obligation. Guilt, it's a bad one, you got to weed that out.
Speaker 1:Say you're sorry If you screw up. Give a sincere and meaningful apology. If you don't know how to do that, look it up on the internet. I'm shocked at how some of the apologies I've heard is pathetic. At least I was shocked at how some of the apologies I've heard was pathetic.
Speaker 1:At least do that. Be willing to humble yourself when you actually did hurt someone and you were in the wrong, and people will either forgive you or they won't, and you don't have to apologize anymore, because apologizing over and over again is a sorry state. But you can probably be the leader, at least a figure of authority and someone who is respected and listened to and taken seriously. If you have a purpose and a mission and a set of goals. It doesn't even matter if A plan can materialize. You can have a plan as a default fallback. But you've got to be willing to improvise because you've got to be willing to do what it takes to get on mission and get things done. And if you don't have anything like that, if you're not working on something or working towards something, if you don't have a project, you can find one because there is so much work to be done.
Speaker 1:It's a mess. We're in an age of discontinuity. Nobody's ready for what already happened. The wages of climate change are already here. Weather's on shuffle mode everywhere. We're going to start seeing climate refugees and we're going to start seeing water as the the oil of the new century, a commodity that people fight over, sometimes fight wars over, because people are dehydrated and getting sick and dying. It's going to be buck wild.
Speaker 1:And anybody that has a grounded presence and knows what they're about and has a project that they're working on and something that's more important than all this social dynamics stuff that you've got to know about just to take care of yourself. You want to at least read the 48 Laws of Power so you know what the playbook is. I think it's important to know all that stuff so at least you know when people are doing it to you. But what you want really is a purpose. Like working at a cat shelter can be that, whatever it is, figure it out, do it, we need it, we need you. And when you do figure that out, the other stuff comes together. People get hot in the pants for that kind of thing. Just got to get on mission and become who you are. Be what you're about. That's it.
Speaker 1:You've been listening to Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes Medicated-Minutescom On K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM kchungradioorg. I am Emerson Dameron, the producer and host of the show. I love you personally. Levity saves lives. At first I thought this was seriously a setup. She seemed really into it and then I thought maybe she loved taking my discipline and also was using sex for power. I don't know if that blew my mind, but it blew something Steamy, dreamy and way too hot for radio. Crimson Transgressions A bite-sized eroticiller by Emerson Dameron. Find it before it finds you.
