Carnal Candyland: A Bite-Sized Erotic Thriller by Emerson Dameron

Emerson Dameron's Carnal Candyland is a sexy and philosophical Bite-Sized Erotic Thriller from the strange world of Competitive Psychedelic Cheerleading. 

Candy is the world's most present and passionate psychedelic cheerleader... until her ex's cynical machinations get her booted from the squad. When she opts for a synesthetic vision quest, it's clear her adventure is only beginning.

Inspired by Voltaire, Terry Southern, Terrence McKenna, and you.

This story exists in three mixes:

• This one right here
• Another one available on Bandcamp
• A third will premiere on the next proper episode of Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, S5E7: The Best of All Possible Eyes Without a Face.

Words and music by Emerson Dameron, host of Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, the only avant-garde personal development program that matters, as well as the home of the Bite-Sized Erotic Thrillers. I love you, personally. Levity saves lives.

Chapters

• 0:08 Meet Candy the Psychedelic Cheerleader
• 0:52 Betrayal by Ariel
• 1:24 Journey of Self-Discovery Begins
• 2:02 Grifters and Creative Generosity
• 4:40 Finding Truth in Chaos

Transcript

Emerson Dameron: 0:08

Her name is Carolina. She's called South Cackalack when she first arrives at the psychedelic cheerleading compound. Eventually that just becomes Candy. Candy's flirtatious vivacious, she's spirited, she's got skills. Vivacious, she's spirited, she's got skills. She fully immerses herself in the kaleidoscopic, fractal world of psychedelic cheerleading. Her squad is led by a visionary coach who just goes by Pan. He takes her to soaring heights and dirgey depths where she explores the psychedelic experience in its robust vibrance and discovers realms of consciousness beyond the ordinary. You know what else is beyond the ordinary? The orgies.

Emerson Dameron: 0:52

But people catch feelings when they're doing psychedelic cheerleading routines, and Candy gets into a turbulent relationship with another cheerleader named Ariel, who's not as skilled or charismatic and makes up for that in bitterness when they get into an argument about ice cream. Ariel hatches a plan to get Candy kicked off of the psychedelic cheerleading squad, which she accomplishes. She tries to release Candy's sex as well, but they're written in disappearing pixels. Candy just had a hunch. She's badly shaken. She gets kicked off the squad. She keeps trying to think what is Ariel doing? What is she thinking? She never loved me at all. Is this how she shows love? Does she punish the people who love her? You know what? This is a gift. When I puked, I was getting. Well, ariel doesn't recognize her own orthodoxy. She thinks she doesn't have them, and that means they're right out of her reach. Where she doesn't see her own orthodoxy, she thinks she doesn't have them and that means they're right out of her reach where she doesn't see them operating. And a lot of people come to psychedelic cheerleading with baggage. I'm gonna take this as a gift and go on a journey of self-discovery, a vision quest, if you will, albeit in the synesthetic mode, as my intelligence is kinesthetic. That's how I express myself, but I will invite the explosion of technicolor, symphonic sensation that these psychedelic experiences have to offer.

Emerson Dameron: 2:15

She finds mentors and skeptical sidekicks, enthusiastic cheerleaders of her own. She does battle with rival squads. Time loses its meaning. She becomes convinced that it's not real, that only love is real, that can sex be love? What happens when love and hate are united? Do the sparks mean there's an explosion coming? One thing I'm sure of is I'm coming, without a doubt. If you felt it, you would know.

Emerson Dameron: 2:43

Ariel keeps showing up in her visions and she asks Ariel, do you want to apologize? And what could Ariel say that would make this right? Of course, she never says any of those things. But people are leaky. If you let them talk about themselves they'll give you valuable information. So she lets Ariel talk and Ariel reveals sinister machinations. So she lets Ariel talk and Ariel reveals sinister machinations in the bowels of the underworld, of the basement of the underworld of psychedelic cheerleading. It turns out that everything is connected and it's all a big, rude Goldberg machine to drag us into a screaming rainbow hellworld. It's also just chock full of grifters. It's been a gold rush the last few years.

Emerson Dameron: 3:27

The only way you can really be sure someone is passionate about psychedelic cheerleading is if you watch them do routines. Candy comes up with these in her sleep and in K-Halls, and when she's tripping and rolling and what have you? She realizes that she doesn't have to worry too much about her intellectual property. These cheer routines, the choreography, the chants, triplet rhyme schemes that she's been experimenting with. There's always more where that came from. Generosity keeps the engine of creativity running. She starts giving them away. She gives her routines to the rival squads and says you can just do them as written, but why don't you put your own spin on it? It's going to come out anyway.

Emerson Dameron: 4:14

You try to be someone else. You lose control of the ways that you reveal your you-ness, but at this point she was in the part of the trip where she wasn't making sense. And she was making a lot of sense to herself, but she was trying to F the ineffable To anyone else. It was just echolalia, babbling and exclamations, and it was beautiful. She sees that the humiliation of her expulsion was Something that needed to happen for everything since to have happened, which made possible everything that will and can happen. And also it was kind of hot.

Emerson Dameron: 4:52

She gotta hand it to Ariel. That was a dumb move. Demonic ice cold, really getting into her shadow, whether she knows it or not. Maybe she'll find that there's work to be done. Maybe Candy can meet her there, maybe give her a call right now to see if she's in there and she's lonely. She wants to roast some marshmallows and do some cheer routines.

Emerson Dameron: 5:15

In one earth-shattering cheer routine, on the edge of the volcano of chaos, candy reveals to the psychedelic cheerleading community the truth of the system this culture is not your friend. And then she creates her own roadshow in a climactic denouement that well, I almost guaranteed you had a tiny orgasm at that moment and just didn't know why. You just felt really good and excited, but also calm, like soothed enough to be relaxed when the sea is raging, look for the lighthouse. When you see a light, go toward it. If you're terrified, it's calling you. Your body has evolved to prepare you for difficult situations with what feels like fear.

Emerson Dameron: 5:59

But it's really just an interpretation. Could it be excitement? Could all of this be nonsense? Could everything be absurd? Could nihilism be correct? Could Levaean Satanism be the correct religion? Could all of this be nonsense? Could everything be absurd? Could nihilism be correct? Could Levaean Satanism be the correct religion? Could all of these things be true at once? If this is true, what else is true? Two things can be true at once. Why just two? Why not a multiplicity of things? That's it. I'm calling Ariel on the way over. I'm gonna stop and pick up Molly.